Mum died in January and Dad terminal

Losing a parent
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She was only 62 and it was very sudden. We were estranged when she died and it’s hard to know how to feel, even all this time later. I was already grieving the mum I wish I had and have no idea how to grieve the mother i actually had. With all our problems I felt she’d soften up a bit when she retired and we might find a way to be in each others lives. That’s not going to happen now.

Also, my dad is 70 and has end stage COPD/emphysema. He’s already lived longer than the doctors precidted despite a few scares. We have always had a tough relationship so it’s hard to know how to make the most of the time we have left. I kind of feel we already did that. My dad never phones me, he always waits to hear from me but having the emotional bandwidth to come to him with love when i have to initiate contact is tough. It makes me put off calling. Plus dealing with another parent about to pass is tough.

I’m 42, female and autistic, which I mention in case I’ve come across blunt.

1 Like
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Hello @Keepthedoublespace ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are finding it difficult to know how to feel. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and your Dad’s diagnosis. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

You may also find this Sue Ryder Article of use as you navigate your grief alongside your dad

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex