Mum died on Tues very unexpectedly

My mum died on Tues morning. I had been begging her to get a doctor out… But no… Eventually managed to on the mom, useless, then I couldn’t handle her screams of pain anymore, phoned nhs 24.crying to the lady please help me… It’s not covid, it’s her kidneys. Doc came, ordered ambulance… 2 hours… Not 3 hours later. Mum had fallen at this point… And didn’t know what was going. We got her up in and the ambulance. Wasn’t allowed to go with her. 2am on tues morning. She died. 5.47am.police came and told me. Had to phone my dad. And the rest. My heart is broken and I can’t stop crying… Any words of wisdom or advice… Much appreciated.

Hi xena
I’m sorry to read about your mum. It’s such early days for you that you will be in shock. My mum died suddenly in june 2019, so 13 months ago now. I still feel such pain and cannot believe she has gone. But I can promise you that the pain does become less raw as the time goes on. I tried bereavement counselling, CBD therapy and all sorts of distraction techniques. But the only things that have really helped are my group of friends I have found on sue Ryder and the passing of time. Bit by bit I am accepting that my mim has gone.
My best advice to you would be to take things hour by hour, then when you are stronger you can take things day by day.
I had 4 months off work I was so distraught and dudnt resumed full time for nearly 6 months. But just over a year down the line, I am functioning well again. I am permanently sad and know that I will never be the same person but I am mending.
My mum was 74 and had a sudden massive brain hemorrhage.
Cheryl x

Xena, I’m so sorry you lost your Mum. You are likely to be be quite shocked. I lost my Mum too suddenly last year of pneumonia and a heart attack. My advice is exactly the same, as Cheryl’s take it hour by hour on the roughest days. Do try and eat, as grief is very hard on the body. My GP warned me to eat. One thing I tried to do was go to bed an hour early every night to allow for disrupted sleep. I was particularity gentle with myself in the first six months.
Otherwise, do keep posting on these forums, as the people are lovely and the do understand how raw and overwhelming it can all feel. Take care.

I’m so so sorry - I lost my mum 4 weeks ago she had a heart attack suddenly - she was in a and e on her own without us - we begged to go in and they let us see her briefly, I could not talk properly for a week - you will be in complete shock. Please take care xx We were told to leave and they called us in twice more because they thought she was dying. We weren’t with her when she passed as they told us to leave again. So hard. l feel terrible I wasn’t there at the end x

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