My parents moved 6000 miles away 20 years ago. We visited often for the first 10 years. But it got expensive, kids got older, our money was needed for other things. They didn’t visit in 20 years. My mum recently died - it’s so hard to process. She didn’t want a funeral so closure is tough.
There was a lot of emotion and some upset when she died between the family. Which has resulted in my dad blaming one of my siblings for the others bad health. They had a disagreement.
The family is ripped apart. I’m riddled with guilt as oldest sibling feeling I should fix it. Don’t know how. Could do with some support.
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I’m so sorry that your mum died, @Topcat12. I’ve moved your thread to our Losing a parent section so that you can get the support you need.
I also wanted to share this link with you on ways to grieve when there wasn’t a funeral. You might find some of the ideas helpful?
Be gentle with yourself and take care,
Seaneen
Dear Topcat12
I am so sorry for your loss and the distance for your family. It’s so hard to lose a loved one under any circumstances but with so many other problems surfacing it makes grieving difficult.
Please try not to feel guilty about not fixing it. There are so many emotions for so many people and each has to take one step at a time with it all. Hopefully there will be a way through in time.
I lost my mum in August and the grief pathway is a long one I have found.
Take time for yourself in these moments and don’t rush to solve everyone’s situation.
Sending you my support and a hug.
Phoebe