Mum is at end of life

My mum was given s few weeks to live just before Christmas. (Kidney failure) her kidney function was 10%. GP took her off water tablets and it went to 26%. As of last week it has dropped to 12%. Mum Is 86 and is not coping being in bed all day so has managed to get herself out but can’t walk now . She is getting a hoist today so she can sit in her chair . When mum was given weeks I cried and was upset but then she perked up so I perked up . Now I can see her deterarating I’m finding it hard . I feel I grieved too early and now I’m not coping . I want to be with her at the end but the matron has told me because her potassium is 7.4 it could happen in a click of fingers . I don’t want her to suffer more than she needs so a fast end is good . But I can’t be there 24/7. And I’m scared of her being alone :disappointed_relieved:

Dear @Mel1971

Welcome to the Community. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Your mum is in the best place for care and that is the hospital. The care team that are looking after your mum will make sure she is comfortable at all times.

From experience you can ask is it is possible for a health professional to be with mum towards the end or call you straight away knowing the end is not far away.

Do you have any other members of the family who can be with mum and all take turns to sit with her or be at the hospital?

Raise your concerns with the hospital staff as they will understand and again from experience staff do not like a patient to be on their own either. I have sat with patients for that reason too.

I am sorry for what you are going through and wish I could hug you. Please do not be scared for your mum, she will be very well looked after. Take care.

Pepsi x

thank you for your reply mum was at home with carers. She has been taken into hospital today with a chest infection. I’m hopeful she will return home where she wishes to die . Yes we are a strong family unit . I’m just not coping myself at the min . I’m going to.see the mental health nurse Tomo

Losing a Mum is so hard.
But be assured, you will suddenly find a strength to get you and her through it. Sounds crazy that I know. But I instinctively felt my Mum would have great comfort in seeing me cope with things, supporting me and my Dad.
Use this community. It’s great. People are open and honest and we all know how you feel.
Sending you strength.