Lovely to read your messages on a difficult day and I too have been seeing the happy Easter holiday families out and about. I never thought about it when I was in the middle of that happy Easter family. How easy it is to live in that innocent bubble!
Just like your mum Mel, my mum’s Easter gifts evolved over the years but still with some chocolate in there, thankfully. I have bought myself an Egg again this year so looking forward to that shortly!
I am also just learning to try the nature bit Ann.
That simple message is so kind and such good timing. Xxx Everyone else “in real life” seems to have forgotten. Thank you so much.
It’s tough to be honest. I can’t believe it’s 2 years since my dad died and one year since my mum. I feel pressure that things are ment to be easier from this one year point and that I should be “moving on”. I am moving on but it doesn’t take the emotions away, as you know.
I think I have to remember what my dad told me on his last day. Everything changes. It sure does and I’ve just got to keep riding the waves.
How are you doing? Got out in nature much? This weather isn’t helping to encourage that at the moment. The calendar seems so full of big dates…Mothers Day…Easter…birthdays…anniversaries…fathers day…Christmas. Aaaargh!
Hope you are ok Mel and Lucy, I miss you! I hope you are ok too.
Agree it is very hard when people seem to have forgotten so quickly and expect us to have ‘got over’ our loss. I do think unless you have experienced loss yourself there is no understanding. Having said that my ex next door neighbour who was devastated when her Mum passed away was very unsympathetic to me, maybe just the way she was and it brought horrible memories back for her. Being told my Mum had a good death and it was her time did not feel very kind to me at the time or now.
I found the second year almost harder to handle than the first. With the first there is that feeling of this time last year everything was OK. With the second it feels even more final but with more niggling unhappy times rather than the full on first grief. None of which can be said to other people as they change the subject hastily.
I am coming into the period of time when Mum collapsed and was ill which will lead into the third anniversary. Three years, can hardly believe it.
I hope everyone is keeping well. As soon as the weather really starts improving can get out for lots of walks. Not much fun walking in the rain.
One of my naughty furry friends has just turned up wanting food and fusses. Best attend to her wishes!
Can’t people be cruel! To say your mum had a good death is so thoughtless and so self centred of you neighbour. This time is such a good way of sorting out the decent people from the selfish though. You are so right about how some people get it and others don’t.
I take it the feeling of disbelief doesn’t change much as you go into your third year then…it really is a marathon and not a sprint isn’t it.
I think when the raw emotions leave you, you are left with just an emptiness feeling. I have heard you don’t lose that, you just grow round it. Not Sure if that is how you feel too?
This weather is miserable! I lost my mum last year in a heatwave so it is hard to imagine that weather now as I sit here at my desk in layers of clothes…
Glad your furry friends are keeping you busy. Mine caught a bird the other day so she is in our bad books. Life can certainly be cruel at times!
Clichés, platitudes, all add up to one thing. Lack of understanding. I never feel annoyed or angry about people who say unkind things. I don’t believe anyone sets out to be unkind, in fact they probably think they are being kind. A women said to me some years ago about a man who had lost his wife, ‘well, it’s six months ago, he should be over it by now’. Yes! Honest, that was said. So grief is like the flu, you ‘get over it’ do you!!!? I only hope that women never experiences the pain of bereavement. Yes Ann, you certainly know who your friends are at this time. To counter all that I have met so many kind and understanding people, so it’s not all bad. I hope Mel that your furry friend is suitably nourished by now!!! Best wishes.
You are right. There are many kind angels who come along when you need them too. I have found it straight forward who I want to spend time with now so grief has taught me a lot in the process.
Just wondering how you are all getting on and if you had a good bank holiday?
I’m wading through my mum and dads anniversaries just weeks apart in May then fathers day coming up. Always something…
I am definitely crying less though so progress is being made. Replaced crying with a very black and white view of who I want to spend time with and who I don’t. Definitely made life a bit simpler…
I’m loving nature at the moment. Anyone else still feel connected to their loved ones when they see a random butterfly, ladybird or robin at the moment or have I lost the plot? Guess it doesn’t matter if it puts a smile on my face.
I’m still struggling seeing happy families everywhere. Daughters and sons looking grumpy as they take their elderly relatives out for the day. That hurts. Hope I stop feeling jealous like that as it is such an ugly emotion.
I find with Bank Holidays that I am happy pottering around on my own, going for a walk if I feel like it or reading. Agree about loving nature, Spent ages watching a Speckled Wood butterfly yesterday flying from plant to plant. I had gone out to gather Elderflowers and have started a batch of Elderflower Champagne. Mum used to make it sometimes and I did some last year which worked well.
The anniversaries never seem to get any easier do they. Yesterday was the 3rd of Mum collapsing so I have a difficult couple of months coming up.
I can now completely block out happy families but don’t worry about your feelings Ann. They are only natural I think. I am glad you aren’t crying so much as it is so exhausting. It does relieve the pressure and stress however so don’t hold back if you need to.
I hope everyone else is well or at least faring as best they can
I remember discussing elderflower wine with you last year. Can’t believe that was a year ago…
Remind me, which recipe do you use? I need to add that to my to do list then we can raise glasses to our loved ones. I hope the next few months milestones pass a little easier for you this year. Xxx
I am using the Good Food one from the internet this year. Am having a battle as the cats are fascinated with everything so I have the large bowl shut in a room they don’t go in. I don’t think the addition of fur would be very pleasant.
I have just seen your post about Father’s Day and your anniversary tomorrow. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today and will be doing so tomorrow.
It is 27 years since I lost my Dad and I still feel it on FD. Never stop missing them and I think about him every day at some point.
That is really kind. I’ve allowed myself to be lazy and wallow today.
I watched an old film that reminds me of my dad and generally taken it easy today. I’m going to make his mum’s recipie chocolate cake later to devour. I really didn’t want to turn to food for comfort but judging by my waist line, that is what I seem to have done for the last few months.
Sending love to you today and hope you have some fond memories pop up of your dad today.