Trust all are well and got through the last week or so alright. Spent the time on my own as not well again, relapse of my cold. Was quite pleasant to be honest as didn’t have to put on a bright show for others. Lots of walks and relaxing. Watched rather too much TV though but complete escapism so good.
Hoping for a pleasant and peaceful year for us all
I want to wish you all health and happiness for 2019.
I was coping ok between Christmas and New Year but at 11.50 NYE, I simply couldn’t cope with all the pressure that goes with it and much to my husband’s confusion, suddenly demanded I went to sleep. He didn’t understand why I couldn’t make it 10 minutes more but I just couldn’t. I cried into the pillow thinking my mum was around in 2018 but suddenly that’s all gone too. My dad didn’t even see 2018. How can that possibly be…
I can’t wait to get the decorations down and pretend it is just another normal work week. I’ve always quite liked January so time to dust off the pressure, the tinsel and keep on just plodding on.
All the best to everyone in our grief cheering squad here. Here to give you a leg up (or whatever cheering squads do as I’m not American) when you need me.
So sorry to read this. I have never thought NYE was all it is cracked to be. The first Christmas and New Year is rubbish. I cried on and off all through Christmas lunch the first year after losing Mum and New Year was not much better.
I have a few decorations up, three baubles left on the tree as the furry destruction squad have done their work well. Leaving the door wreath until 6th then will put it on the bird feeder, mixture of juicy berries on it which can’t go to waste.
Will be nice to get back to normal or as normal as it gets. Hoping not too much snow if any this year. Laying a small stock of food in just in case, don’t like slippery pavements.
Also here if needed everyone. We can all hold each other upright!
You made me laugh about the 3 baubles Mel. Sounds like your cats have had a fabulous time!
Thank you for sharing that your first Christmas and New Year were rubbish too. I have had a much better time overall than I imagined I would but deep sadness in places. I know that is to be expected. My mum would tell me to “have a bloody good cry, then get on with it”. Which I guess I did.
Have been thinking of you all too. Thankfully the worst of the Winter seems to be over now, seems so much more cheerful with the crocuses out and a bit of sunshine. My cats are now allowed in the garden under supervision. They love it out there and all the smells and birds to watch. I need to put a cat door in for them to have proper access but they seem happy with 10-15 minutes each morning at the moment.
I hope everyone else is alright or pegging along at least.
Mel
Xx
How funny. I’ve kept meaning to post to check in with you all and this morning I almost did. So nice to think we are all thinking of each other.
I’m with you on the crocus Mel. They are so cheerful and the nights getting shorter helps a bit too. It was such a long hard Winter in so so many ways.
My mum always used to buy some bright flowers like polyanthus at this time of year to cheer everything up. Last year she made me buy some as she couldn’t leave the house. I haven’t bought any yet this year but need to to honour my mum’s positive outlook on life.
Hope you are all getting on ok. Any big plans for 2019?
What a little ray of sunshine you are. I read your posts and they are always encouraging, positive and selfless.
Your cats are lucky to have you taking care of them.
I hope 2019 brings you all that you wish for yourself.
We have had a very mild winter so a nice transition into spring. Spring represents new growth, rebirth, colour and positivity.
Your mum would be so proud of your willingness to help others on their journey of grief even through your own loss. You show the positive side of grief. The acceptance of losing a loved one and the ability to be grateful for your own life and all it offers. Tomorrow is promised to no one so life is to be valued and appreciated with every breath we take. We cannot bring our loved ones back but we can take their love and share it in this world and make every moment count. That is their legacy to us.
Thank you, that is a really kind message. I do still have not so good days but like you I believe in making my parents proud that I have somehow got through their loss.
The stories however sad they may be on this forum and help offered by cyber friends have restored my faith in human nature.
You too have such a positive attitude towards the future which is an example to us all.
Hoping that everyone is alright. Haven’t been around much, six colds over the winter and just over bronchitis. My Mum would say I haven’t been eating properly and packed me off to the doctor by now. Haven’t bothered with the latter as they don’t dole out antibiotics unless really needed which clearly in my case Was right as am better on my own. However much lemon and honey has been drunk and cough sweets have been sucked.
Been thinking of you all the last couple of days as bagged myself a charity shop bargain. I was walking past on my way to work and saw a boxed set of glasses, brand new and the make my Godmother collected. I went straight in and bought them. Possilbly not everyones taste as they have different flowers on each of them so no doubt a rejected present. They are probably too good for everyday use but I don’t care and intend doing so. My Mum loved flowers so I feel pushed me through that charity shop door and guided my hand to my purse.
So nice to hear from you. Sorry you have been laden down with colds. Definitely a sign to take extra care of yourself and treat yourself too.
I love the idea of you walking past a shop and being drawn to the glasses and I am so glad you are going to use them and not keep the ‘for best’.
I’m trying to do the same. My honey is now in a cut glass jar that was hiding at the back of my mum’s cupboard for years. If it breaks, that will be better than hiding it where nobody can see so I intend to use everything that makes me smile from now on. The funny thing is that my mum’s 'for best" things don’t even have any value so it is such a shame they haven’t been busy being enjoyed and used by her.
How is everyone feeling about mother’s day? I’m remembering last year and my mum barely able to understand her card. I knew it would be our last together but it seems so intense this year with consumerism slamming it down my throat as I pass every shop. A sign in a window made me cry last week as it was a shop I had bought my mum a voucher for a couple of years ago when she was well and they are still selling the same vouchers. How unbelievably quickly life changes so get your cut glass or whatever it is out ladies!
How are all the cats? Mine has worms so that’s been a bit horrific to find out. Yuk.
Hope your day has passed alright. I found a bottle of Bucks Fizz left over from Christmas at the back of the fridge so have opened it and am having a glass for Mum. Had flowers already in the house for her.
Signed my cats’ adoption papers last Friday at long last so I am finally theirs and they are mine. They have been cuddling up to me today and being hugely comforting.
That’s great your cats have now found their forever home and how nice to toast the day with bucks fizz.
I have struggled far more than I expected today. Other anniversaries are so tough but this one seems to be all over the media rubbing salt into already raw wounds even more.
Anyway. Roll on Monday and give your cats an extra special stroke today. I am sure you will.
Just to say I am thinking of you all today, Easter Sunday. My mind is drawn to past Easters and the little presents Mum used to give me to celebrate. As I became an adult the eggs of childhood became notebooks, scarves and earrings. Always with a few little eggs tucked amongst them.
I found a bag with Mum’s Easter decorations in a couple of weeks ago so have created a display of branches with tiny bunnies, chicks and eggs hanging. My flower arrangement skills are not good but it looks alright. The cats are circling the branches so the decorations will soon be on the floor being played with I fear.
Take care everyone. Going out for a walk in the sun soon. Spring flowers are amazing this year, I found a garden full of purple irises yesterday with the sun shining through them. I want to try and get a photograph of them.
The timing of your message was just as my eyes were starting to tingle with thoughts of my mum and dad. Xx
All these special days are hard to get through. My mum’s presents of Easter decorations are up and I remember all the meals she made for Easter over the years. I miss her so much.
My dad used to buy me lavish eggs when I was little while he was away with work. I miss him so much too.
I think it is all the happy families that you see at these times that make my loss so prominent but I know my mum and dad would want me to just enjoy myself as much as I can.
Flowers are so powerful Mel. They bring hope and beauty and don’t ask for anything in return. I think, looking back, my mum’s love for her garden was maybe driven by her losses over the years too. Maybe she found comfort just connecting with nature as I am learning to do now too.
Hope you all have a nice day. At least the sunshine is on our side this year.