Mum is in her final hours

Yesterday i have received word from back home in Dublin that my mam is in her final hours after a long battle with bone cancer… My heart is broken,I live in scotland with with my 2 young children and all my family are back in Ireland, My ex husband will be caring for the children while i am away… My ferry is tomorrow at first light… Im totally devested as i was not expecting her to go right now… two weeks my mam was up dancing at my brothers wedding and now shes nearly gone… i really dont know how im going to cope… my hearts broken… she was my world,spoke every night on the phone and she gave the best advice, I had a phone call with her today… more like wispers… but she told me how much she loves me and that she is going to hold on untill i get there💔, how do i stay strong? to know when i leave Dublin for home(scotland) my mother will be gone from this world… Please tell me how to i keep it together!
sorry for going on and on with this post i just have no one else to talk to right now i feel so alone trying to keep a smile on my face for my kids… inside i am breaking… Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and do excuse and typos you find… my head really isnt with it right now…
Thanks for listening…


Hi Irishpanda,

I’m so sorry to read about your mum. I’m not sure there is any advice that is going to really help you. You just have to take this awful situation as it comes.
My mum died suddenly in june last year. She hadnt been ill for more than a few days and because I wasnt expecting her to go anywhere for another 15 or 20 years our conversation was normal. I never got an opportunity to say goodbye.
Just be with her in her final hours and tell her what you want her to know.
I wish you well at this difficult time and I’m sure someone else will be along soon to tell you how they coped in this situation.
Cheryl x

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Hi IrishPanda. Welcome.
As Cheryl says, its too soon to be able to say much that will help. If you look at the posts ‘Losing a parent’ you may find some comfort there. But comfort is going to be in short supply at the moment. It’s a case of a day at a time. Don’t try too hard to ‘keep it together’. Emotions are there for a purpose, to relieve stress. Never be afraid to have emotions.
And never be sorry about ‘going on’. No one here will ever judge or criticise. We all know and care because we have all been there. No matter what the circumstances grief is grief.
I hope that you can get there and help your mum. I feel so sad for you and send my prayers and blessings. May your God go with you and give you comfort. John.


Somehow you will get through it. The body and mind can do amazing things to help us with trauma and shock. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. My Mum died very suddenly from cancer. I was with her at the end. I drive from Cornwall to Bedfordshire. The whole thing is a blur. But I told her I loved her. Held her. Stroke her head. Played her favourite music until she slipped away. I still can’t believe she is no longer in this world. It’s been 6 months. I still find that hard to believe too 6 months. How have I managed that. But you do. Somehow you do. Wishing you peace and strength. And to your darling mum.


Thank you so much dor your reply… Its a tough time… Im also sorry to hear about your mother… Its new easy regardless of how it end come… But yes least i will get to say my good byes❤ Thanks again x

Thank you Jooles45… sorry also for your loss…
I never thought about playing her favorite music untill you said that… Im downloading a playlist as i type so thank you for that… Im a scatter brain today… tho managed to drag myself off th sofa and pack my case and ready to go… This trip is going to break my heart… But time passes regardless so il be ok❤Thank you x

Thank so much John for your kind words… I will get there! I will have a look though some more posts on here tonight i might find comfort some how… God bless you x

Good luck Irish panda
Perhaps not the right words but I will be thinking of you x

Yes the music is a lovely touch. It creates a nice peaceful atmosphere. And I’m sure it soothes them To hear there favourites and all the memories music envokes for all of you. My heart aches for you.

Thank you both❤ You’s have been great… I’ll get through this… x

You will I promise. :heart:

Dear IrishPanda,
My heart goes out to you. You must be counting the hours and minutes until you will be in Dublin with your mum. I have been in similar situations when I had to take the ferry to Holland to be with my dad (I lost him in February 2017) and my mum (I lost her in September 2018). The journeys seemed to never end. Being on a ferry surrounded by people, yet feeling utterly alone, wondering if I would arrive in time or too late. It is good that you were able to speak with her on the phone today and that you could express your love for each other. It must also help that your children are being looked after because you cannot be in two places at once, even though as a mum that is what we would like to do. Our son is a teenager so for me it was a bit easier to leave him with my husband and not worry too much about him . I hope that you will be able to get some sleep tonight and that you can spend precious time with your mum. A big hug,

Irish panda
Thinking of you today.

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IrishPanda, I am experiencing the loss of my mum right now too. I don’t have the answers you need, but it’s a case of moment by moment. Try not to think too much in the future. To say goodbye is a blessing. There is comfort in the chance to tell someone you love them. Hold on to all that is good. God bless you on your journey and God bless you, your mam and family :pray: