Has anyone else experienced this?
Dad who hasn’t grieved my Mum passing, but tells everyone he has as she was poorly for a few years. 2 weeks after my mum passed, he then starts to get close with my mum’s best friend who is also a widow, 1 year on she is now sleeping in my mum’s bed, she’s moved in my family home. My dad changed the locks months ago so we couldn’t spend time in the house where my mum passed away or be with her things. He bagged everything up, we have collected everything, but this ‘woman’ is living a life you wouldn’t believe since her best friend of 50yrs passed last year, going on holidays shes dreamed of, absolutely fleecing my dad and he doesn’t care, it’s such a slap in the face to my sister, me, grandma and aunty. We can’t cope. Her family want us to “get on with it, as they’re happy”… my dad has never looked so lost and sad in his life. We tried family counselling with him, he didn’t see our side, we knew he would move on fast and expected it and understood he hated being on his own, we really did our best to look after him but it wasn’t enough, he hasn’t even give himself chance to meet anyone else, we need him to move out of our family home but he is now having a refurb to get rid of any trace of my mum. It’s horrible, toxic and so sad. We miss Mum so much, how has anyone coped with knowing this other woman who’s been in your life all your life and now she’s in your mum’s bed and house x
Hello @Mols1 ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
this happened to my school chum. same exact thing. i am really sorry and i am sorry for his pain. he knows not what he does. being in a toxic relationship is so hard. a real dependency forms. easy to fall in so very hard to get out. i do not know why nature does this to people.
best is to back off and let him come to his own misery. i think when you push against her he will defend her, his choice.
I’m sorry for your loss, I’m worried about the same thing happening with my dad.
All the old tarts will start coming out of the woodwork
Controversial thing to say, but my mum and dad were together over 50 years and he’s lost
Thank you for your reply. Sorry for your friend had to go through this too. It’s even harder as we all live in the same village, and drive round and cross paths with them. It’s hard because we miss him, but he doesn’t care how we feel, so feel like we need to distance from him, but at the same time can’t let them get on with this ‘new life’ they’re having, when all of ours is shattered around us x
I’m so so sorry you’re going through this too. Thanks for your message. Your dad will be so vulnerable now and the tarts will take advantage, he will make mistakes, and we have to let them, but as long as he comes back to his family at the end of it. My dad has completely dumped all of us, we don’t even know him anymore x