Hi, I’m 32 and I lost my Mum on Friday, she just turned 60. Her and my Dad were together for nearly 40 years.
She was in hospital for 4 weeks, initially with Flu A and fully awake, this developed to pneumonia, various infections and then organ failure. She was on a ventilator and sedated for the last 2-3 weeks, just before she went into palliative care she was opening her eyes and was still there.
I’m struggling to come to terms with her death and why it happened. She was my best friend and I spent everyday with her, I was also living with her whilst I save up for my own place. I’ve had panic attacks and physical pains, I’m back on antidepressants which will eventually take the edge off things but I’m completely lost.
Any advice on how to cope without a parent, and how to support Dad?
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here. I can hear in your words how you are struggling to understand her loss.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Hi. So sorry to hear about your mum. I lost mine suddenly in November. Since then I’ve just been trying to help my dad mostly with arrangements such as the funeral and sorting household bills. I’ve also encouraged him to keep in touch with friends especially those that reach out to him inviting him to coffees or quiz nights. He does struggle without mum but he knows there are people/support helplines he can call if he needs to talk and doesn’t want to burden us kids with anything (not that we mind but he says he , understandably, doesn’t want to upset us further either). Make sure you look after yourself too. It’s been hard at times but I’ve forced myself to go to the gym, even if its to have a shower . I’m over the initial shock of it but now trying to navigate a world without mum which, like you, we was incredibly close. I feel my future has taken a new direction and whilst sad, l have to continue living my life as best as possible as that was what my mum would have wanted. Hope a small bit of what I’ve wrote has brought a tiny bit of comfort. I have found this site very useful.
I keep
Wondering how I’d navigate this life without her as all the things I plan on doing - I want to do them so that she can be proud of me. Now she’s dead at 55 and I’m only 30. I’m so confused and scared.
. I’m over the initial shock of it but now trying to navigate a world without mum which, like you, we was incredibly close. I feel my future has taken a new direction and whilst sad, l have to continue living my life as best as possible as that was what my mum would have wanted. Hope a small bit of what I’ve wrote has brought a tiny bit of comfort. I have found this site very useful.