Hi, i am new to all this.
My mum passed away in April 24. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer 7 years previously. I helped care for her,even more so towards the end, i was there when she took her last breathe. We took her home to die as she requested, but i feel it was such a traumatic time. I had so much happening at the same time of her death, so i feel i never really grieved. But our relationship was a tricky . we weren’t particularly close, and i don’t know my father. i am an only child, i have 2 beautiful kids and an amazing Husband. but i feel like i’m struggling to even think my mum and when i do i either feel numb or just so much anger, feeling like i wish she cared about me as much as i cared about her.
i don’t really know what the point of this post is. i maybe just want some advice of how to change my thoughts towards my mum.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, @Tasha92. However you’re feeling is completely valid - all our relationships are unique and there is no right or wrong way to feel.
It does sound like your feelings of numbness and anger are causing you pain. Have you considered bereavement counselling as a space to talk through these feelings, as well as the trauma of her death? We offer free online bereavement counselling which is held via video chat. You can find out more here:
Your GP can also refer you to counselling, too.
You may also find this article on grieving someone you had a difficult relationship with helpful to read, too.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts too, but I just wanted you to know you have been heard and aren’t alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
I am currently trying counselling through work. And I have registered with sue Ryder for bereavement counselling but haven’t heard anything yet. Thank you for your response though
I nursed my mum through cancer…and felt I didnt do enough…you did all you could…I miss my mum every day…can close my eyes and relive every last few weeks looking after her…but I have a friend who was our next door neighbour growing up who was close to my mum few years older than me who babysat …my mum told her towards the end how much she appreciated and recognised what we did to keep her home (just at end of covid)…we had chats we would never of had…we both understood it was coming to the end…But I am still mad as hell…
You did ya best…you journeyed a route nobody is trained nor prepared for…but ya mum is the hardest one to get over once they go xxxxx I think mine is still looking over me…well I hope so …