Mum

Terminal illness & end of life
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My mum has vascular dementia last month mum stopped walking and cant feed herself now lost weight went to hospital caught pnomina fought that well not been eating or drinking much now back in care home palletive care and told mum only 3 months left it heartbreaking

1 Like
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Hello @Keegsy01,

I’m Alex, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.

  • Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
  • Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.

Alzheimer’s Society offer advice and support to people affected by dementia. You can call their Dementia Support Line free on 0333 150 3456.

I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.

Take good care - you are not alone.

Alex

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Thanks alex means alot

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@Keegsy01 I know how awful it is to hear this. After a fall last year and 5 days in the local hell hole of a hospital, which did not help him in the slightest, my husband came home and one of our GPs made us an appointment to fill in a Respect form. Fortunately it was one of the few that I knew well and actually trusted. He said that my husband was very frail and he only had a life expectancy of 3 to 6 months. I was heartbroken too. I still am.

He lived for another 8 months and I looked after him and tried to make them as happy and painfree as possible for him. I fed him ice cream and cake and his favourite homemade strawberry milkshakes. He got lots of love and cuddles and kisses.

Unfortunately I am now in pieces and my life feels so empty but at least I know that I did my best and he knew he was loved.

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Hi @Keegsy01

Sadly my mums vascular dementia was not diagnosed. I only guess that is what she had after 4 Tia and stroke episodes in 4 weeks.

She too lost her balance about 3 months from her death. Double vision.

She eventually died from aspiration pneumonia.

There was a lot of talk of her going in a care home but her decline was rapid.

The old cliche but try and make the most of everyday you have left. Some of us were not that lucky.