mum

108 days missig you mum…
All I hear is;
Well she had a good innings! Did she! - mum was 80!
She had no quality of life anymore! I agree…
She would just have got worse! - She had Parkinsons and dementia with lewy bodies…
You have your family who need you - So I’m being made feel sefish for having bad days now…
Mum had been in care due to her failing health - Something that will haunt me forever.
“Oh she was well looked after I made sure of that - I was down visiting everyday pre lockdown”
I apparently had time to adjust to her not being in my life!
I visited whenever I was allowed, garden visits, window visits. door visits, sitting in the rain visits…

I know all these bloody things.
But Please just let me greive and don’t expect me to move on quickly because she was in poor health and apparently had a good innings!!!
I am very grateful to have had her in my life for 53 years But I miss her so much…
We were best friends as well as mum and daughter. We spoke every single day, even when she was very confused I still called to wish her goodnight everynight. Just so she knew I was there for her x

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I’m so sorry for your loss

You are right in that loss of mum is not made easier just because she was in ill health.

You’ve lost the person closest to you, and you miss all aspects of interactions with your mother. Those interactions at care homes, calling her every night were meaningful and important even if she may of not been able to comprehend. Try not to listen to those who try to belittle your loss

I hope you find ways that are helpful to you, with grieving for your mother.

Sending you my love :two_hearts:

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Hi, you are correct that all you need is to grieve and the rest is just a fact of life so please don’t look at the things people say, it’s how you feel that matter. When we have been left without the person/people we love most in the world we shouldn’t be expected to just get on with life. Take your time, we are all different and need different things at different times in our life. Grieving is our own way of dealing our loss and we need to do what is right for us. Take care. Blessings to you xx

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