My mum was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in October 2020, she later found out it had spread to her bowel and lungs and was stage 4.

Mum had a stoma fitted which caused its own problems, this however didn’t stop the cancer spreading very quickly through out her body.

Mum was given low grade chemo twice but this had no effect.

Mum was then given the option of palliative care or high grade chemo every week for 9 weeks, she was advised the chances of chemo working was slim, however the choice was hers.

Sadly mum then lost her long term companion in January and then seemed to give up the fight, she just wanted to be with her companion again.

Mum decided palliative care was the best option going forward which i totally agreed with at that stage, mum was riddled with cancer and it was spreading rapidly. Chemo was just likely to make her very sick with little benefit.

Mum was admitted into hospital on the 10th March and eventually ended up in a palliative care unit run by Macmillan to help get her symptoms under control.

Mum was told she would be in this unit a week and would go home then with carers in place, until she was unwell enough to go into a hospice.

Unfortunately mum deteriorated very quickly and never got home, a few days after going into the palliative care unit, it was decided it was end of life care and only thing on offer going forward was pain relief, anti sickness medication and company.

My friend managed to see my mum 2 days before she Passed and we had a video call, I wasn’t able to visit due to covid and travel restrictions, I was not in same county as mum however my friend was.

On Easter Sunday 4th April at just after 6am I got the dreaded call, mum as not got long to live can you get to hospital, I tried my hardest to get there but no taxi would take me, trains was not running that early, I couldn’t get a lift, only thing I could do is phone my friend who managed to get there 43 minutes before she Passed.

I am grateful that my friend got there and was holding her hand, im just sad covid kept us apart and I couldn’t actually say goodbye.

I managed to get to the funeral and Chapel of rest, so I did manage to say goodbye of sorts but it wasn’t the same as actually being there in her last moments.

My dad as also passed away and I have no other family now.

My friend as been great, very supportive, however I feel empty inside, like I’m missing a limb.

I’m practically on my own at 38.

That must have been so hard for you, to lose your mum in such a short space of time and to not be able to be with her in her last moments due to circumstances beyond your control. It must be a comfort to know that your friend was able to be there on your behalf, and that you could at least have a video call with her. It sounds like she was in the best place possible, well looked after by specialist MacMillan nurses. The pain of losing a mum is very real, you describe it very well when you say it is like missing a limb. I lost both parents too, so I know what it feels like.
I hope that you will find support on this site from other people’s posts and replies, and that it will make you feel less alone that there are so many others in similar situations.