Yesterday I had to go and sort out all Dad’s banking and become power of attorney as Mum passed away in March and lovely Dad is in a rest home, I physically felt sick all while I was doing this I know it had to be done but that didn’t help. Also silly me goes into a charity shop that I donate Mum’s stuff and it was all on display so I got upset.
Life is so sad sometimes.


Hi, it’s all very sad when we loss someone we love and having to deal with banks is horrible. From personal experience I felt that bank was totally unrealistic and I come out feeling dreadful mainly from the lack of compassion. You are being very brave and visiting the shop is not silly and knowing you are helping both the charity and the person who will purchase the things is really nice. You are right life is sad sometimes but it is supposed to make us stronger. Look after yourself please. S xx

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Oh @Katz,
Im so sorry about your mum and what you’re going through. I agree the things that have to be done feel horrible. I cried a lot sorting my mums clothes out and clearing my parents’ house. It helped me a bit to think of people being happy to find something nice or useful to buy and not having to spend too much, and also to think of helping boost funds for the charity. The things that went free to good homes also. But the worst thing was all the stuff that could not be sold or donated that I had to take to the tip, that felt awful, like I was putting my parents’ lives out with the rubbish. The only way I could square it with myself was to remember how practical both my parents were, and how they dealt with my grandparents things, after their deaths, in the same way. That made me think my own parents would not mind, but be pleased I was doing the same with their things.
I hope your banks will be helpful and sympathetic with transferring your dad’s LPA to you. I can only think that your mum would be happy, relieved and proud of you for taking on that role for your dad. Please be kind to yourself and let yourself feel however you need to feel. I suppose I have come to understand that all these difficult tasks are the final practical acts of love we can do for our loved ones. Sending you love and hugs xx