I lost my mum just over a month ago. I’m not coping well at all and my poor Dad is a complete mess. It was a sudden death and I wasn’t here when it happened, so I blame myself daily as towards the Eva she asked for me. A few weeks before she passed she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but we didn’t know how poorly she was to lose her so suddenly has been a huge shock to the family. Mum was my best friend and I feel so empty

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Dear @Tracey16

Welcome to the Community, I apologise that we have not replied to you sooner.

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. Losing a loved turns life upside down and leaves those behind in turmoil. You are in the very early stages of grief, and it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, there will be good days and bad days. All of this is normal and part of the grieving process.

There is an article by Sue Ryder on Losing a Parent which has useful information that may be of help and support to you.

There is also a Grief Guide which will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief and helps you discover new ways to cope. You too can connect with members here by typing in the search bar Losing a Parent. The support on here is amazing.

You are not alone, and we are all here to support you. Please continue to reach out any time. If you would like further information, please email

Take care.


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I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I also lost my mum to Pancreatic Cancer 5 weeks and 2 days after diagnosis. It’s awful as this disease is so quick and gives you very little time. You can’t beat yourself up, you need to take the time to grieve as it does all happen so quickly, it is a shock to the system. Just know that you did your best and your mum would have known that. There is no way you could have known how much time you had, that’s the cruel thing, especially with pancreatic cancer. Just take it 1 day at a time, but please make sure you focus on your healing as much as helping your dad and family xx

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