Mum

Recent come across this page. Mum passed away early December . The day she died I just cried. Since then I found the strength to help my dad to deal with all her affairs. Now things have started to get sorted and in place I feel helpless angry and alone. Grief has started to really set in and reality of mum now not coming back is destroying me. I miss her so much. She was my best friend as well. I have no one else to talk to about things. I don’t have any friends either which makes it harder. My job is working with others who are struggling with their own health and well-being. I can’t even do that at the moment with my own grief being so raw. Any local support are people who I deal with at work so I feel I can’t even go to them support groups as it’s too close to home as the saying goes.
I feel so alone. I don’t want to put on family as they have their own issues personally going on on top of losing mum.
I can’t sleep when I do it’s an hour max I feel so drained tired and the pain inside me is destroying me.
I feel I should be back at work now…it’s been a month now but I feel like I’m treading through a field full of treacle. The strength I had has gone. I’ve lost all empathy towards others I feel angry when I see older people and people who talk about how ill they are. I don’t like being like this this isn’t me. I’m sorry for venting

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Hello @Fungi33 ,

I’m so sorry that your mum passed away. It sounds as though you’re feeling very alone right now. I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

It is completely understandable that you would be struggling to support others when your grief is still so raw. Many of our members will identify with your feelings of anger. As you say, this might not be who you usually are, but feeling angry is a really common experience when we are grieving. You might want to take a look at our Grief Guide, which can walk you through some of what you may be feeling and may be of comfort to you to realise that you are not alone in these feelings.

You’ve mentioned that you’d like to attend support groups but the ones nearby are too close to home. The AtALoss website lists support groups by area and there may be something a little farther from home that you would feel more comfortable with. You can take a look here.

It might also be worth visiting your GP for a chat about what kind of support they can offer you right now, too. You deserve help and support.

Take care - keep reaching out,

Seaneen

Hi
Many thanks for your concern and your support. I’ve been to the doctors this morning and she has just given me medication to calm me down and sleep and asked me to go back on Monday to see her.
She said she would look into counselling for me but as we know counselling can take months. Or it does around these parts anyway.
I’ll look into the suggestions u have made. I just want to move on and get back to normal but I just keep crying all the time. Thank you once again

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Hi, I know how you feel . I lost my mum Dec 30th. It is so painful and every day is a struggle for me . Am here for you if you need a chat

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Sorry for not replying thankyou for your reply. I’m still off work and now having counselling face to face. I’ve kind of accepted that my mum has passed but still finding it hard to come to terms that there will no longer be a conversation with her face to face or on the phone.
I’ve started to clear some of mums stuff out found this heart wrenching. I’ve started going to walks daily which have helped massively to distract myself but on the other side I feel I’m running away from my grief as well.