Hello i look after Mum who in March was told ahe had vulva cancer, also told she had 3 months to live.
Mum is/was very active independent strong.

The month’s rolled by and mum carried on going out enjoying her life, her will to live was strong until October and her pain got real bad.

I now look after mum 24/7 the Dr told me he thinks mum got about two week’s left and i am scared, i have watched her in agony and have felt so alone, no one seems to care its like when she was told back in march there was nothing they could do, they left her to get on with it.
Mum wants to stay at home and has begged me not to let her go in hospice, i feel so alone and i will support her wishes, but i have never known such emotions like a roller coaster, i just wondered if anyone else felt alone.
Mum seems to have been wrote off and forgot about by the professionals.


Im so sorry
I stumbled across your post and really feel for you.
Can you get better pain relief for her?
I think its dreadful she is suffering so much. Do you have support of family around you?
I lost my Mum to Cancer when i was 19. My Dad tried to keep her at home but it was too much in the end and she went into a hospice the last week.
Just do what you can to keep her at home but look after yourself too.
Big hug

Jane x


Hello Jane. Thankyou for getting back to me i hope you’re Mum is comfortable.

I have two brother’s unfortunately my elder brother has cancer of the liver/lung.

I do all i can for Mum it’s just getting harder to help her dress now shes screams in pain, she is on patches 10mg and a morphine gel the Dr just told me to stick another patch on if real bad and theres nothing else they can do, mam had some sort of syrup morphing but had a bad reaction so couldnt give her anymore.

I dont want to go against her wishes and will try my hardest to keep her in her home :broken_heart:

Keep strong jane sending you a hug.
Am here for you too.


Are you able to have pallitive care carers while your mum is at home x

Hi. My beautiful Mum went on to her next journey yesterday.
Mam fought so hard to stay with us.
I have no one to thank only the district nurse’s who came and gave her morphine and other drugs in her last four day’s of life.

Mum was diagnosed in May 2022 basically wrote off, we never saw her consultant again.

Mum asked for counselling and didn’t even get that.

Mam had vulva cancer which is rare, it was so rare they wrote her off.

Myself i am numb and tired and heartbroken but i wouldn’t wish her back to go through the agony she went through.
I cared for mum 24/7 it was hard, heartbreaking, but her wish was to be at home and her wish was fulfilled.
Thankyou for any answers on here.
RIP Mam x

Hi Kat6

Just want you to know I am thinking of you I just read your post and I know how heartbroken you are. I looked after my mam for 3 weeks at home until she passed on Dec 30th 2022. It was tough going simply because i was watching her die right in front of me all because they wouldnt operate on her bec she was 89. I tried everything I could at home to help her and to keep her as long as possible. Like you I carried out her wish to be at home and I am glad I did.
I know how you feel about being numb and so tired It has been 3 weeks for me and i am still shattered with grief Today was the first day I went out into the big wide world on my own and that was just to buy a funeral dress for myself. I was devastated doing such a thing so ended up crying when i tried the dress on Mam was always with me when we went clothes shopping so I missed her like hell. I couldnt wait to go home again into the safeness of my house.
You did your mum proud. Very proud. She would have been overwhelmed in what you did. Emotional and physically tiring and now it is your turn to rest as much as you can. I know by how i have managed the past few weeks that peoples words have been useless in helping me as many people i have spoken to never knew my mam like i did. Thats why i came onto this site bec everyone understands and i feel any support I get from this site is truly supportive so carry on posting and people on here will reply and hopefully help you in a small way.
I will check in on you every day ok
Deborah x

So sad reading these posts. I was 19 when my Mum died so a long time ago but i still miss her and feel robbed of the years she missed. Strength to everyone xx

So sorry for the lost of your mum i feel the same as you i felt they wrote my mum off she had cancer she was not offered any treatment saw her consultant once and we was left to get on with it our selfs i cared for my Mum aswell and like you said its hard and heartbreaking