Hi im 33 years old lost my mum at 17 years old.
She liked a drink. I remember being around 15 years old and pouring her vodka down the sink and watching her get drunk off water.After me and my brother filled it back up with water.

She got so ill. And subsequently died. I just think now being a mother myself… why were me and my brother not enough to fight for.

I need her so much

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Amber. Sending love. What a journey you have had. You must have needed your mum lots of times. Im in a group called Alanon. Look us up if you like. For the family and friends of alcoholics. We have meetings in most towns and talk through our issues. You would be welcome. Theres also a website and lots of books.
Be kind to yourself. You are worth a lot.


My dad has alcohol issues, so I’m familiar with all the upset & heartache that comes with it. I am in contact with a charity called they help people who’s parent or family member has alcohol or addiction problems. They have a website, email, & Helpline. On their website they also have a story called “Jasper’s wish”, I still can’t read it without crying, it’s about a little boy called Jasper, his mom drinks, & he has to go stay with his Nana’s while his mom’s in hospital, & he asks the Nana’s questions about why his mom drinks.
No-one can ever really say why someone drinks, or what goes through their mind, though it is fair to say drinking definitely clouds their judgement, & makes them forget what’s important. My dad has always had drink issues, whenever he can’t handle stuff he drinks, it’s what he does, the really sad part is, while my Mon was battling cancer, we spent what we knew would be our last Christmas together, I tried to make those last special memories, watching movies I knew she loved, playing games & things, but it always got wrecked by my dad’s drinking, mom arguing with him, & sneaking round looking for the bottles to pore them our, which inevitably just caused more arguments, that time is gone now & I can never get it back :sob:, & I question why she wasted the time running round after him with his drinking, & not spending that precious time with me. During one of their arguments, he even smashed the bottle on the kitchen floor & stormed out, leaving it for me & mom to clean up, she was dieing of cancer, & didn’t need all the extra stress he was causing. It sux having those memories, but they are what they are now, we can’t change them.
I know it will never change anything, but with my dad’s drinking, it was in some ways his mom’s fault, she had drinking issues also, so it’s sadly a trate that got passed down, though gladly not to me, the issues with my dad, & seeing the damage his drinking has done to our family has been enough to put me off alcohol for life, I promise myself no-matter whatever else I do in my life, I will NEVER be like him!