My first post here but hoping that talking in a way not connected to anyone around me and in a honest way will help. I lost my mum 7 weeks ago very suddenly. My dad has been unwell this last year so not way round we expected. Mum had a good life and was 85 but I still feel angry about how she went even though it wasn’t drawn out. I’ve scattered her ashes today …that was so so hard. I’m overwhelmed by what comes ahead…I lost my brother 40 yrs ago in a car crash so I understand what grief can do. I’m also now caring for my dad and dealing with his grief as well as my own. Getting through each day is a real challenge at the moment. Everyone, including my husband is getting back to normal (which is of course what should happen) but it feels far from normal to me.
Hello, sorry for the loss of your Mum so recently. 7 weeks is not long ago so it’s totally understandable that you are still trying to process this devastating loss. It’s been nearly 7 months for me since my Mum’s death and I’m still trying to adjust. Grief is a very brutal and exhausting experience I find. I have found it to be with me constantly, sometimes more sharply than others. I’m no stranger to loss either but I have found the death of my Mum so hard to bear. It feels like it has really changed me and I am very much on autopilot, going through the motions of life. Still, I know I must keep going as that’s what my Mum would want. Be kind to yourself and give in to the emotions you feel. This forum is very useful, you aren’t alone. Best wishes xx
Thank you for your kindness and I’m sorry for your loss too. You’re right it feels completely unlike any other bereavement. Although I was with my mum at the end I feel I missed saying all I wanted to say. I am blessed with good friends but it’s so hard to articulate how I feel. It’ll come in time I guess.
Hi, I know what you mean. My Mum died suddenly and unexpectedly. She collapsed on her driveway after a shopping trip and wasn’t found until the next morning. Obviously I had no chance to say goodbye so I wrote a very long letter to her. I visited her in the chapel of rest and although incredibly emotional, I managed to read it out. I then placed it with her in the coffin. I think the writing out of what you feel does help. This is why I find this forum helpful as it provides contact with people trying to manage similar emotions. In responding to the posts I can share my experiences and offer my sincere and very heartfelt empathy. It will become easier for you to manage your days, just don’t expect too much of yourself or others. Take care xx
We did similar. We wrote letters and put them in a time capsule and they were buried with my mum and dad.
I also completely agree… losing my mum was something else. Id made it to 46 years old with no major bereavement. (I was a late in life baby… all my grandparents had gone by the time i was 6 yrs old) my dads grief was short lived as my mum died very quickly after him. The grief from my mum was devastating. Brutal and exhausting i agree with completely. Its been 7 months since mum died, this months marks her birthday, their wedding anniversary and the erection of their headstone. I’ve been a wreck, very emotional.
These forums were and still are a lifeline to me. I come here all times of day and night. Being ‘surrounded’ by people who are or have walked the same path as me i find great comfort in.
Be kind to yourself. Listen to your grief and treat it gently x
Annie46, what an emotional month for you…
Alongside everything I feel grief wise, I also feel burdened by the sale of my Mum’s house. It feels even more stressful than any house sale I’ve experienced before. It’s such a terrible time to even try and sell a house, the chain has collapsed twice already. Everything is going so slowly and no one seems to appreciate how desperate I am to get it finalised. I have to go and sort out the garden regularly… to my Mum’s empty house, where she collapsed and died on the driveway. It’s agony and a huge trigger for me each time. 
I know things will move on, but I sometimes wonder how I will survive these difficult times. Take care xx
Rosie pink I’m so sorry for your loss, I too losty mum 10weeks ago, I feel exactly the same, like i am on autopilot, the loss of my mum has changed me, don’t feel the same person anymore, I still can’t process it in my mind she is gone, 
Ah we’re in a terrible place grieving for our Mums… I never could have anticipated how huge and painful this loss would be. Sending you love and consolation…xx
Is it normal to feel worse further down the line? It’s 8 weeks since I suddenly lost my mum. I feel like adrenaline and ‘needs must’ got me through those first few weeks Now the formalities are over I feel numb, angry almost and wishing I could remember those final moments with more clarity. I’m desperate not to forget her voice and her laughter
So sorry for your loss,it’s totally normal,i lost my mam last October and this last week has been horrendous im so angry and broken,all i can say is be kind to yourself and give yourself time 8 weeks is no time at all to deal with your grief hobestly i have found it gets harder,its my mams birthday the 23rd and its the first one i wont be with her, every 1st is really hard so do whatever you have to to cope its a rollercoaster ride that isnt good or fun It’s hard hun if you have people around you ask for their help ,grief is a lonely place if you dont let people in sending you big hugs xxx