Mum

Coping with bereavement
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My mum passed away over a month ago now.
As the days are going i am getting worse.
My heart actually aches
Friends are telling me to snap out of it. This has come a very close friend. I dont undeestand how someone could say that

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Hello @Moo1973,

I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling following the loss of your Mum. I was so sorry to read your post and about the comments you have received from friends.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but in the meantime, I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

Thank you again for reaching out - I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Please know that you’re not alone.

Take care,
Megan

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Im so sorry for your loss @Moo1973 - i lost my mum a year ago and i totally relate to that feeling of your heart and your whole being just ACHING for them :broken_heart:

Ive had some difficult conversations over the last year with friends - if someone hasnt experienced loss they jusr dont get it. Or it makes them uncomfortable witnessing anothers pain - they just want everything back to “normal”. It can be a painful reminder to them of the fragility of life. You discover during grief that some friends drop away or are unable/unwilling to provide the emotional support you need. But also i have found support in unexpected places from casual acquaintances, or new people i have met through bereavement support groups, as well as on this site.

Its still really really early days for you @Moo1973 - Just take it one day at a time right now, ive found over time the pain is still there but its less overwhelming. But its a slow process, there are lots of days i was just hanging on and focussing on getting through the day. Dont let ANYONE make you feel you need to do things at a different pace - this is your grief and you have to work through it in your own time. I hope that you can connect with some people that understand this and support you :heart:

Sending hugs and strength :heart::people_hugging::heart:

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Dear me, I’ll never understand why people blurt out such things. I’m sorry that happened. :people_hugging: I think they mean to help, but it comes out all wrong and only hurts us. Only you can decide how you grieve and for how long, ignore everyone who tells you to snap out of it. It’s a huge loss and it isn’t something you can snap out of just like that. Try to let your friends know how sad it makes you when they speak like that, if you feel comfortable to do so. Maybe they really just don’t get it, because they haven’t experienced it, and need a small nudge to support you in a way that works for you. :heart:

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Ty all for your kind words. Im in such dreadfull pain. I will take each day at a time.

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I know. It’s hell on earth, it truly is. Be kind to yourself and keep reading and posting here, it’s a sort of lifeline for many of us. :people_hugging:

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