I got a phone call today and my mum’s ashes are ready to be collected. This might sound strange but I’m excited in a way that she’s coming home with me and I’ll know she’s at peace. Has anyone else felt this way? She died from alcoholism and this will be the only time I know she’s safe if that makes sense?
Hi,
I think the way your loved one died and whether they suffered beforehand is alot to do with this. I felt the complete opposite to you, didn’t want mums ashes home and arranged to scatter them shortly afterwards.
But my mum was healthy, loved life and had only recently embarked on the latest chapter of her life. She had a brain hemorrhage out of the blue when we were expecting another 20 years of life.
The fact that your mum is now at peace brings comfort to you and I’m sure plenty of others feel the same as you.
Remember there is no ‘normal’ in any of this.
We are experiencing such a varied range of emotions in our grief.
Cheryl x
Yes I suppose it is because of the way she passed away. She was suffering and battling herself for a long time, in the end she was no longer the mum I knew that had given me such an amazing childhood. I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I never thought of it like this but it probably is the fact o know she’s at peace now. Thank you for your message and your right there’s no right or wrong way to feel, it’s about whats individually comforting to each person.
It makes sense to me.
I’ve got both my Mum and Dad’s ashes tucked away in a cupboards. My Dad’s ashes have been their for nearly 20 years and having it there has been a comfort. (It is out of sight, so it does not upset me.)
With Mum it’s a comfort too, even if the pain is still very raw. I intend to keep the ashes in the house for a very long time. When. I get older i may one day choose something out of doors as a final resting place for them. I don’t think i’d settle at the moment if they were out doors.
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Thank you. Its rubbish for all of us x
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It’s nice that them been with you still comforts you in some way. I knew it would comfort me having my mum around. I have a picture up and that in itself is comforting to me. Not long before she passed away we talked about death and she said she wanted cremating, I said ‘ok and I’ll bring you home with me because I know there’s no other place you rather be’ she said ‘yeah do that’ it was strange because we just talked about it and now it’s happening.