Don’t know what to do with mum’s ashes. A few of her friends suggested a local park where some of her friend’s ashes were scattered but mum hardly went there. sis and i think under mum’s favourite tree in the back garden but we might have to sell the house. Thinking of moving the tree to mine but it’s probably too big - it’s about 30 yrs old. Never thought I’d want to keep her ashes now not sure - still feels too raw. She wasn’t sentimental about this sort of thing and didn’t believe in visiting graves etc. At the funeral home they asked about memorial jewellery etc - we said no now I’m not so sure.
Hello @Milliemobs ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
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@Milliemobs I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. I lost my dad in 2021 and we still have his ashes as we never really felt strong enough to scatter them. We then lost my mum at the end of May this year, she knew she was dying and requested that my sister and I scatter her ashes with dads at a Loch they loved to visit. There is no right or wrong time to scatter a loved one’s ashes, you just do it when you feel you are ready. This could be weeks, months or years after your loss so don’t put yourself under any pressure to decide when or where right now. You are already dealing with the loss of your mum so you have enough to deal with at the moment. Keep her with you until the day comes when you feel ready. Are there any nature reserves near you? Mum wanted to be with our dad where she could be near the geese. Look after yourself.
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Hi have you thought about keeping any for jewellery etc? Only ask because we are discussing if to do this as well. I guess you’ve got to think about placement that works for you as well, somewhere you can enjoy.
When they asked at the funeral directors said no but changing my mind now. Mum wasn’t one to visit graves, i have no idea what she did with my grandparents ashes. Only place we can think of to scatter her ashes is her favorite tree in the back garden but not sure how i feel about that if we have to sell the house.
Do you have any recommendations for memorial jewellery let me know. Don’t think i want jewellery as such but maybe glass bead or pebble. I do have some crystals i use a bit like worry or prayer beads. I just roll in my hand to calm/de-stress/focus.
I am still looking online to be honest - there seems to be some lovely sites out there - I’m still undecided x
I personally feel that as much as you want to honour your loved ones wishes, if you dont know what theu would have wanted, you need to do what is right for you and your family. My brother and i have decided to put mums ashes in the crematorium with a stone as we both feel we would like somewhere to go. Its about what brings you comfort. I ledt her ashes with the funeral palour until we decided, but now we have a date for her to be interred i have brought her home with me for a few weeks. I didnt think i would want that initially but now the time is right and shes with me. I also asked the funeral director to put some ashes into a small pot so i can get jewellery at a later date. Just take your time and hopefully in time you will k lw what you want to do.
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My sister collected mums ashes and tho I do not feel ready to scatter them we have set a date for the 19th of October as her daughters will be there too.
I live away and will have to travel there and back in the day,
Not sure I will keep it together Mum died in April this year, a truly traumatic end, I was with her every day I will never get over it, but they have a different take on things. Im not sure how it will go but I agree everyone should take their timethey will know when the time is right.