And I am struggling to not be overwhelmed with previous birthdays especially last year when I wasn’t able to spend it with her due to not feeling well and I should have forced my self to go
I was going to buy her a card but changed my mind and now regret it
Feeling really out of my depth 
Hello Bluedreamer,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling and feeling really out of your depth as your mum’s birthday approaches. It’s common to find things harder around significant dates and anniversaries - this is something that many community members have talked about, so you’re not alone here.
Do you have plans for how you’ll spend the day? Sometimes knowing how you’re going to spend a difficult day or having specific plans can help.
Take care and keep posting if it helps.
Eleanor
Hi Bluedreamer,
I am sorry to read about your Mum, it must be very hard for you with this anniversary coming up. It is a big thing these days and how to get through them. I know people on this forum have talked about buying cards for the person they have lost so why not if you see one that you like.
What I do when faced with birthdays and other anniversaries is break the day down into small chunks, couple of hours, hours or less if needed. Somehow it makes it easier to get through. Also doing something my Mum would have enjoyed, cinema, lunch out or similar. A sort of treat to myself for coping with the horribleness of it all.
Basically anything you want to do for and to remember your Mum is right. Keep coming back to this forum if you are feeling rotten. There are always people here who are happy to chat and advise. We all have the loss of someone in common or forthcoming loss so people do understand.
Mel
Thanks for the reply
I got myself into a bit of a state and was feeling too ill to do much on her birthday
I have been talking to her and saying sorry that I didn’t do anything
My family don’t want to know I tried talking to 2 of my siblings about her birthday and both of them were not bothered by doing anything
I know that the last 10 or so of her life I was the only one who kept regular contact with her because everyone else either were to busy or just didn’t care and I feel like they are now treating me the same
I am not reaching out to them again as both left me feeling bad
Thanks Mel
I feel very alone as I realise that my siblings have all just moved on
I tried reaching out to 2 of them and neither were interested in even acknowledging her birthday but then they didn’t really have much to do with her for the last 10 years or more of her life
I feel like I should just stop bothering to keep in touch with them and just mourn on my own