Lost my mum in January and it broke my world in half. Not a day goes by where im not thinking of her in someway. Today would have been her ,58,th birthday so been feeling a little down and anxious. I’m missing her terribly, I have three beautiful children that are always keeping me busy but today I’m finding it so hard to not be sad, she’s in my thoughts constantly.
It’s still such a short time since your mum died and she was so young. I get upset about how my mum was too young and she was 74. I tried not to dwell on my mums birthday. Every day is still a nightmare for me and I’m 5 weeks away from the first anniversary.
Just remember it’s ok not to be ok
Yes it early days but when it comes to any anniversary it’s hard and even years on you will want to do something special and just at the moment we cannot and it makes it even more difficult. Tomorrow will be an anniversary for me and normally I know what I would be doing but not this year. I hope to find something to mark the day but not sure what. We are always told either mark it or never start to mark it. Enjoy your children and think next year we will do this? Make plans so it stops you getting too unset and something you will enjoy to put a smile back on your face. Life will get easier but you will never forget her and hope your children understand why you feel like you do. Grief is not easy, they say it’s the cost of knowing love. Hard, very hard. Blessings S
Thank you so much for both of your replies. It is just what I needed. It is definitely still early days for me but I can’t see it getting any easier on anniversaries or birthdays. I have managed to keep myself busy today with my daughter’s, I feel so blessed that they’re all daddies girls and keep my constantly busy! It comes in waves with me, I have a moment of happiness followed by a brief feeling of sadness. My children made mum a birthday card and put it on a shelf for her, I always want them to know how much of and amazing mother she was, they always light a candle for her at night before they go to bed. I’m sorry for your loss too, take care and thank you again
I’m the same dean. My mum lived with us and she and my daughter adored each other. My daughter has turned 13 recently and I’m so upset that my mum isnt seeing her turn into a teenager. Equally I feel for my daughter who used to be smothered with kisses by my mum when she got into bed. My mum only came upstairs once a day and tgsr was to kiss my daughter goodnight. We lost that overnight and mums rooms just sit empty. Mum went for a routine op and never came home.
All that keeps me going is my daughter, my partner and the odd things that make me happy. Wine, gardening and good tv.
Just take each day as it comes dean x
That is so understandable. You should do something to keep her memory alive today something positive to share with your children. Celebrate her birthday even if she isn’t here anymore. Just noticed I am far too late with my advice as I only just saw your post. Maybe next year. Tomorrow 25 July is my dads birthday and he will have been gone 6 years but it will be the first anniversary for me without both my parents. So hard. Wish I didn’t have to spend it by myself. hard. Wanted to go somewhere that he loved but the weather is supposed to be bad. dont know what to do. Mum didnt arrange a place for him otherwise i would have somewhere to visit it is what I wanted. I have his ashes but my evil brother and nephew have mums they tried to steal dads too so that they could get rid of them without me knowing. I just want them to be together and have a proper memorial. Sorry got a bit off track.
Anyway January isn’t too long ago and your mum was very young. I think you should start thinking about a way to remember her 60th, a way for your kids to remember their gran. The hurt will not be so raw but you can still remember her and all your good memories. Give you self time away from your kids even if just for a little while because you are not getting to grieve when you are so busy. Maybe your husband could look after them for an hour or two or maybe a sister or mother in law could take them for a couple of days. You need a wee bit of space just to grieve. It will let things not be so raw if you give yourself space to let go for a bit. Thinking of you.