Mums terminal illness

Terminal illness
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Hi My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus, its spread to her bones and we think now in the liver and kidney, as they aren’t working properly. We found out in mid June and I dont know how to cope. My mum is 73, my dad is caring for her and is also 73, he has his own health problems. My sister and i live far away with our families and we speak every day and visit at least once a week but i have a constant fear that mum is going to go downhill so fast i will miss her and I’m constantly worried about how my dad will cope when she’s gone. She was rushed to hospital last week with dehydration which now seems to be under control but has a syringe driver for her constant sickness, she’s had good days and bad days in hospital and there is talk of her perhaps being able to leave at the end of this week but i’m terrified my dad cant give her the constant care she needs at home and she will go down the same road and get worse quicker. We also have no prognosis so I have no idea how long we have with her now. So sorry for the flustered message but does anyone else relate?

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Hello @Claire161 ,

I’m Alex, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.

  • Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
  • Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.

Macmillan offers support to the families of people living with cancer. They have an online chat which is open until 8pm every day. They also have a free support line which you can call on 0808 808 00 00.

I hope you find the community a good source of support to you. Take good care - you are not alone.

Alex

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Thank you so much Alex x

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@Claire161 MacMillan were a wonderful support for us, also Marie Curie. Perhaps also contact your mum and dad’s GP to see if they can help in any way… :purple_heart:

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