My 20year old son 💔

I lost my 20 years old son ,my best friend , my everything December 15 2023 I’m finding it so hard I’ve lost the plot quite a few times with trying to cope with this , my emotions are really bad a cry over everything , I cry trying to cope even I don’t know what I’m doing anymore , all I want is to be with him, I have tried but couldn’t actually go through with it . It hurts so much he didn’t deserve this he was so special I don’t know what I’m doing anymore I could really do with guidance or help


Hello @Gemma_S,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son that brings you here. I can hear the heartbreak in your words and want you to know that you are not alone.

You’ve mentioned that you’ve felt like ending it all. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when grieving. But there is care and support out there for you and you don’t have to go through this alone.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here

  • If you feel like you’re safe, please call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

Many of our members who have lost a child have found The Compassionate Friends to be very helpful. They support families who have lost a child of any age. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

I know that I’ve given you a lot of information here and it can be hard to take in, but I just wanted to share these resources for you to look at and keep.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

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So sorry for your loss. You are in such early days still, i wish i could say this gets easier but im only 7 months in, and while things have changed…i only cry a few times a day now, when im on my own, other things are still just as difficult. I found these boards very valuable as unfortunately only other bereaved parents can have any understanding of the type of grief this is, as its completely different to other losses. Take care


I’m so sorry for your loss of your son :pleading_face: too so young also , it brakes my heart reading how young they are how cruel this world is :broken_heart:
I turned to here because I felt like no one could understand me as I read some these boards most Pepole are feeling and having same emotions as me which brings me some time of comfort knowing I ain’t going crazy .
I didn’t think this would ever happen this is such a shock and I just don’t know how to manage my emotions or deal with the pain it brings he was my best friend he was my everything , it was only me and him I’m so use to coming home to his laughter and his smile he didn’t deserve this , I just want to help him and I can’t that’s what makes it so hard :broken_heart:
Thanks so much for replying and understanding xxx

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Thank you so much for this information I have been looking at the groups in abergavenny hopefully I have a reply I really appreciate the guidance xx

Have you been in comtact with 2wish ?

No I haven’t heard of them ? I will have a look on the web now thank you for replying and understanding means so much xx

They deal with sudden deaths in under 25s ( not sure if your sons death was unexpected)The police referred us

Yes it was sudden , the police only gave me Cruze I found sue Ryder myself because I didn’t find Cruze any help at all at the moment
Where as I just looked at wish and I could travel to Cardiff thank you so much for showing me that website :pray:t2: xxx

We have been in touch with Brake. They have been very helpful. My grandson died in a road traffic accident last October, aged 20. My thoughts are with you x

I am so sorry to hear this :broken_heart: this world can be so cruel taken so many young souls it’s heartbreaking, thank you for this I will have a look at brake now , I just feel so lost and I don’t know what to do

What you are feeling is completely normal , the loss of a child the pain is like no other. I’m currently reading a book Love untethered by Vanessa May ,her 1st two years after losing her child, I’m half way through it and it could have been written about me. Our whole lives their futures our futures have all been changed , I just think day by day now, no future planning, keep talking to others really helps

Hi Gemma…hang in there. I am so sorry for your loss.

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It’s most definitely a pain like no other I have completely changed as a person I was a strong confident business woman who didn’t even know anything about anxiety until now I can’t stop itching face burns eyes burns don’t stop crying and house bound won’t even let pepole in I don’t want sorry or pitty I just want my son back , I miss him so much it hurts badly I never experienced pain like this :broken_heart: it’s completely broken me , I have been reading a few books, I will have a look for that one as I get confront from reading in his bedroom xxxx

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