my heart is broken
I have really started to believe in after life I had so many sign has any one else had signs
Hi, i lost my 24 year old son Ryan on mothers day this year. About a couple of weeks after his funeral I started getting signs. There are too many to be coincidences. I have also been to see a medium and he came through amongst other spirit family and she would not have known what she relayed back to me so I totally believe it. Your son is around you xx
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I emphatically believe in a life beyond this one and not just because I want to believe. I’ve been to several mediums since my son died 3 years ago , some clearly haven’t had a clue and were guessing, but there were others who told me things that they couldn’t possibly have guessed at . I’m a lawyer and I’m fairly sceptical by nature but I’m prepared to accept that there are things we can’t explain, but which are no less real for that . Logically it doesn’t make sense to me that this life is all there is . I believe my son is there and around , not always with me , but there nevertheless, and although that is small compensation for the constant sadness I feel,and know I’ll feel for the rest of my life , that I can’t see any hear him and have him physically around me as I once did, it comforts me to know that death isn’t the end of the story , and that one day when I die I’ll be with him again where he now is.
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I lost my beautiful son in April. I haven’t had any signs unfortunately. I’m not religious but I hope there is something after death. I want to hold him in my arms again
I’m not religious either . I hope he comes to you but don’t be impatient . That’s what I was told . He’ll always be your son . It’s emotional when you get a sign and I’m sure you will at some point , but he’ll always be with you in your heart and in your head , and that’s where it matters . It’s very early days for you . The pain never goes away but it does get easier to live with as time passes . My thoughts are with at this horrible time . Paul
Try meditating via you tube. Meditation to contact your spirit guides etc. This helps me a lot. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. I feel your pain. My son was 23 when he died. There’s just no words x
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Bless you iv just lost my son aged 38 to mental illness and I’m broken, I lost my husband as well but I need to no there together in peace x
I no how you feel I buried my son last Friday and wish I was with him, just need to no he’s with his dad and at peace, I’m so sorry your going through the same, I long for my sons arms around me again as well xx
You can’t know, like you can know tomorrow is Saturday, but you can be pretty sure they are . And probably not in peace , but having a really good time with each other ! If the next life just involves sleeping , I’m not going !
Hi Tess this weekend has been so hard I cried so much and couldn’t stop and keep think questions like why me my 1st child my beautiful son 22 is to young how do I go on some days are better then others but feel like all I can do is think about him questions like is he ok I have other children who I love dearly and worry that they be ok scared xxx
hi Paul,
omg I have had the worse weekend ever I cried so much that I feel that questions why did he go so young the hurt in my heart I feel like I have a big hole
and I have had many signs from my Son to know he is all around me but still feel so helpless have no idea how to hope people say doctors what pill there to take a away I am feeling there is none xx
I wish I had the answers I talk to Nick a lot , in the car , in bed , about things we did , things I’m doing . Sometimes it makes me sad but over the years it’s been more help than upsetting . It stops him from becoming the boy who is forever stuck in 2015 and it reminds me that his death is just a temporary absence until we meet each other again . I try to do things that distract me , like going to work , seeing friends and doing the sort of things I did before it happened .They know what happened , but we don’t talk about Nick unless I do , and when we do , not in an outwardly upset way as I don’t want them.to feel.sorry for me. I see James , my elder son a lot . He’s 23 and just graduated
We’ve always been very close . He often asks for advice about various things and apart from giving me pleasure , that I can help him , it makes me appreciate how much he needs me to be there for him, and that gives me a purpose when at times I can’t see the point of it all.We dont talk about Nick much but he’s always there ,unseen and unspoken , and always in our hearts,and always a part of both of us . I do things on the edge of my comfort zone , trips to India and other far off places because they distract me and because I think I need to cram as much I’m and make the most of this life ,even though I believe another different phase happens after this . I listen to music some of which makes me sad but gives me inner strength . I always feel an under current of restlessness, it’s never far away but these things help a bit to make it more bearable . I don’t think the struggle to do this will ever end until I die and I’m resigned to that . I feel i owe it to Nick and James and to the people I know to try .
I look and think what is happening now I cannot make any sense of anything tired praying I cannot sleep as I just keep seeing my beautiful son lay in his coffin so so hard I play his song sometimes to help me sleep just to feel him close I have 4 more children and know they need me I am looking happy for them but on the inside I am crying in pain no one should have to feel this pain and hurt we love are children so so much apart of me feels so empty
Life’s so cruel I no your pain, I’m feeling it to, iv got 2 girls Alan was my only son, I feel I’m no good to anyone so empty and like you can’t make no sense of any of this, just wish I could have one of his hugs again, I play the songs he likes but breaks my heart, xx
Understanding grief and dealing with pain as a mother and the loss of your child
Where do I start I cannot begin to tell you how this feels in lay man’s terms losing a young adult a son or a daughter no matter if they die of self-harm drugs or in there sleep or a accident the pain is still the pain no matter what way one goes they are our children a gift from god which are taking so as a mother how do we begin to deal with loss the answer no one knows but there are whys we can let this control are every moment how we eat how we think how we dream the fog which don’t seem to lift the people around us who just want to go on and the person they married is suffocation in their own self thoughts ruled by pain and sadness
The endless trips to the church trying to find sense in it lighting candles in hope they can see you the tears that flow day and night these are tears of love and pain and loss then wait for then to contact from after life as you cannot believe that are beautiful child that came to us in the 1st place have gone the questions why ???
I have four other children and I must go on smile though me heart is braking I cannot let them see their mother hurting so in bed I cry my self to sleep take tablets to help take the edge off this pain its so intense that there is a hole that I will never fill
Big question I have now changed, and I really didn’t want to. how can I be happy and how can be sad?
Other people need me but I need my son and cannot give him that cuddle that we long for the cheeky smile they give you when you send something funny what do we do with this love cannot put it in a box its there now and forever from that moment we smelt are new born which is now only a picture our a memory
The world has now some how changed, and I see things different I notice the sky more I look up lots wondering what my son is doing is he happy can he see me
Will I still be his mother do he see me cry I don’t want to hurt him with the pain I feel but cannot stop it Grief is now become part of me
Can I laugh if I do will he think I didn’t love him Guilt? Other part of this pain why couldn’t I protect him
Why didn’t I cuddle him every day and tell him how much I loved him why did I tell him off when he was only growing up why didn’t I take more pictures and go on lots more holidays did he see enough
Then comes the next worries are other children what if it happens again where do I turn
I was giving all my children for a reason and that I believe and have been so lucky each and everyone of them are now feeling pain one day I will be there with him and I will get to understand but right now I cannot understand
Me as a person and as a mother changed and cannot ever no what to do to help with this pain and hole in my heart
My 5 children now only four something that I hate saying but don’t ever want his memory to leave he was the best thing that ever happened to me and so proud he picked me to be his mum love you now and always
Hi, I feel your pain. It has been 6 months now since Ryan passed and I feel it’s getting harder. I am dreading the winter months and run up to Xmas as we all loved Xmas especially him so I really don’t know how we are going to get though it. He is constantly on my mind and I just feel such overwhelming sadness all of the time. I try to keep busy to give my mind a rest but am finding I am now putting on a front all day at work then come home and hide all the emotion from my younger son as I don’t want to stress him as he has a heart condition. I try and tell myself just take one day at a time. I talk to him when I am on my own all the time and when I feel he is around me I talk to him in my mind. Apparently they know your thoughts! I had a reiki session and the lady told me that she feels he is channelling his energy through me to help me heal. I really hope this is true xxx
My son died in July I am dreading Christmas as like your son he loved it as well, also his birthday on Thursday so hard xx
Sending big hugs to you. We had a lot of things in one go. Ryan was put on life support on mothers day and passed a few days later, then it was my husband’s birthday, his birthday only weeks later and then came fathers day. We had family and friends around on his birthday, it was very emotional but I felt a lot worse once everyone had left. I think we just need to take one day at a time and go easy on ourselves and just ride the waves as and when they come. It is such early days. Xx
Godbless everything you have described the pain the love the hurt the guilt every single word you have said I can relate to most days I feel like giving up then other days I look at my other little boy and know that he needs me more than ever he is only 7 my son Taylor was brutally stabbed to death in February this year I now have a court case going ahead in august which I need to be a witness as his evil murderer is claiming to be insane which is a pack of lies but I have no choice I need to be my little boys voice and keep going for him I just hope and pray he didn’t suffer but just reading what u wrote helps me knowing I’m not the only person to lose a child and know the grief that is killing me inside as sometimes I thought I was the only person in the world feeling this way lots of love linzy xx
Dear Tess026
I am fairly new to this site as sadly I joined following my desperate feelings following losing my 22 year old precious son Ryan to SADS (sudden arrhythmia death syndrome) in June this year. I feel so desperate and long to hold him, all I keep thinking about is wanting him back. I’m deeply traumatised by the flashbacks & events that took place. I’m traumatised already from the loss of my mum & gran who sadly took their own lives when I was a child. How does o e survive this? How are you? How do you cope now. Please can I offer you my sincere condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss. I too am blessed to have another son who is trying to be strong but is utterly broken & my heart aches for him, he has not only lost his brother but his best friend/soul mate, they were inseparable. Life is utterly horrendous & I can’t see a way forward, the pain is unbearable 