My beautiful Mum

My beautiful Mum passed away on 5 weeks ago. I am 18 and my sister 15. I’m struggling to come to terms with how she was out and about 2 months ago, and now she is gone. I thought I had many more years with my mother and that she would see me having my children. She is my best friend and I can’t see the point in being here without her. I spent every second by her side at her hospital bed and held her hand until she took her last breath, and now I feel lost & as if I have no purpose to carry on. I want to feel happy when I think about my mum, but all I feel is a deep sadness. I hope someone can relate to me

Hi Soph
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your mum, you have had a very painful time and it will take you a while to get over it. I am much older than you but my mum passed away on 1st June 2016 after a 2 year battle with illness, and then I lost my son 3 months ago. Grief of losing the closest people to you is overwhelming and you must never be scared to tell people how you feel, allow yourself to cry and do not worry what other people think. sometimes I find myself crying as I walk along the road and have got past the point or worrying about what other people think if they see me. I write a letter to my son everyday and tell him about my day and how much I miss and love him, I talk to my mum and ask her to look afgter my son and I know she is because she is my mum and would have done anything for me.
Your mum sounds like a brave amazing women, make sure you get lots of support from friends and family and I have counselling every week and so do my children, we all find that it helps to talk about your feelings and to xpress your pain. Be kind to yourself and take your time, surround yourself with good people and do not be afraid to ask for help.
Take care