My Wife Jane was taken by that horrible disease 26th January this year at Wheatfields. Three months on I am finding it very difficult I can’t believe Jane has gone, I keep expecting to get a call asking me to pick her up. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed I’m just lost. We’ve been through so much together, Jane was so strong, she was let down so many times but kept going. I miss her.
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Hello I have just came on this forum and saw your message about Jane. I do not know if this will help either of us, but maybe we can give it a shot. I lost my wife Sharon on the 5th of this month and the pain is unbearable, friends who mean well and have never experienced this loss, just tell me the same old, same old advice. Will we ever recover from this? I am sure you feel the same as I do….never!!! Sharon is due to be cremated on the 10th of April. If hope you do not mind me asking how did you cope at Jane’s funeral?
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I am sorry for your loss . It’s early days for you .its a horrible rollercoaster of emotions we are on . It’s baby steps , look after your self the best you can .Take it day by day , or hour by hour if need be . Focus on one thing a day .
Take Care
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I am sorry for your loss , I understand how you feel I lost my husband suddenly 6 months ago . There plenty of supportive people on here , keep posting. Get though your day the best you can.
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I found it very difficult. There were many ups and downs on the day. I had support from family, to be honest found it hard themselves. After the funeral it’s hard to explain I felt different some how ready to carry on.
Then the day after that the realisation hit like a ton of bricks that my beautiful Jane wouldn’t be here in person anymore. I just wanted her home. It’s hard so hard. Not sure what the feeling was after the funeral. I’m trying to stay strong. Lean on your family and friends.
It is or I found it difficult. Take care. Drop a note anytime on here happy to chat.
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Thank you for that, we sound like we are both going through the same emotions. I am dreading the funeral which is still 2 weeks away and I am terrified about it. You take care.
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Thank you, I really appreciate that, just woke up and already it is hitting me like a ton of bricks, but I will try to do what you said, little by little. You take care
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Many thanks for that. Never done anything like this before. Think I ned to get my thoughts out with like minded people. But small steps for me as it is very emotional writing.
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I have never gone through anything like this either. Although I have had grief before ie parents, my sister, 2 brother in laws who I was very close to , know them since I was 10 years old . My niece & nephew who died very young. My husband is worst I’ve been through. If you only do 1 thing a day you are doing well. It’s 6 months since I lost my husband suddenly heart attack. I had just finished some counselling which helped me . I also attend a bereavement cafe which is held once a month. It might be worth well trying to find something like that in your area . When you feel ready for that step . The only people who truly understand are people going through it .look after yourself
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@Caledonian62
I am so sorry for your loss and the unbearable grief you are suffering.
I lost my wife just over 15 months ago and still miss her dreadfully. I think I always will.
You asked for advice about how to basically survive the day of her funeral. My experience is that my wife’s funeral was one of my strongest days and, even now, looking back it was a good day. It’s fair to say that I was exhausted for a few days after though.
I appreciate that this approach isn’t for everyone, we each have to deal with these things on our own terms, but I took a spiritual view of the situation. I believe the soul survives death and even when I left her in the hospital for the last time I didn’t have the sense of leaving her behind, I was sure she came home with me.
On the day of the funeral she was standing at my shoulder giving me the strength to see the day through. After all, the day wasn’t about me, it was her day and a celebration of this part of her life here on earth.
Later when I went back to the crematorium to scatter her ashes I felt she arrived with me and left again with me.
I’m convinced there are signs from our loved ones that they are there for us, but you do have to be awake to them. Many are easily dismissed as coincidence but over time they start to add up.
As I say, it’s a matter of opinion and I apologise if it’s not your belief.
Whatever your faith it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s her day and you want it to be the best for her.
Look after yourself
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Thank you for taking the time to write this, I will be reading it many times before the day. I am certain this will give me the strength that I need. As you say the day is all about my wife, who deserves me to be strong. Thank you
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you will find friends here @ALLOI02
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lovely words @RJay
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I found it easier not to have a church service she did not want one,we met at the crematorium chapel and when she arrived we spent time with her around the coffin,then they took her in to be cremated, it only took about 20mins then we left,I have her ashes at home and she will come with me when I go to my parents grave, I found the process a lot less emotion able and friends said the best funeral they been to, its still a hard day though,
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Hi allo102
That disease is the most horrible one I do not like it at all it takes.so.many good people from us my husband got prostrate cancer.at 50 it was dealt with and I had another 15 yrs with him.before he passed away I have been totally lost for 5yrs now not knowing how to cope or how to.carry on without paul he was a good man and I miss him everyday it is not easy going on without them he was the strong one in our marriage and this year has been the hardest for me.and I dont know why for 4yrs I have done my birthday on my own and this year I just wanted my family ie brothers To go out with me for a change but.could I get that no I could not we had no.children so on my own and this lonely nights are not nice I am so.lost as to what to.do next I would love to go to the east coast cannot do.it as on my own and so many places I went with paul 
they would just make it harder can’t ask brothers as they are always to busy for me so I do not know if I will ever be able to.face the sea again I wish.my.brother in law was alive he would.have.helped.me but that.horrible.disease got him so it’s me on my own lost in all.of this trying to.find a way out of this if there is a way out.of it at all
Sarah 