I lost my beloved husband in October, we didn’t quite make our 55th wedding anniversary. I am so lost I nursed him at home most of this year, he was diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer 5 years ago. We had a wonderful life together he was my best friend and now I can’t cope with the loss, I don’t want to see my friends I can’t bear their sympathy.
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My dear @Boysie1,
I am so sorry that your husband has died - this is such a very hard thing to bear. I know the pain all too well - when my husband died, almost 3 years ago now - even breathing was painful for me. I crawled along each day, aching with the sadness and the isolation.
You speak of not coping but you are - you really are. You got to today. You joined this community. You are stronger than you think and you will be ok - even though it may not feel like it right now.
Take your time and try not to cut your friends out - they will be grieving, too. Hold on, hold tight, keep going and know that the community here understands, and is with you x
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Please take care of yourself. The pain is unbearable I know.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
hugs 
I too lost my husband last month, his death was unexpected. I get what you mean about seeing people. I too struggle with the sympathy and feeling everyone is scrutinising me. But with real friends you get past all that in a few minutes. At least keep in contact by text. I have found receiving messages just makes me feel less alone. I like to go for a walk with people, you are not looking at each other so if you feel tearful you don’t feel so awkward. Wishing you all the strength getting past this awful time. Don’t be hard on yourself and you will find lots of virtual friends here who understand your pain.
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