Hi Mab, how brave you are thinking you might go alone. Plenty of people travel by themselves and I admire them for doing it. A cruise to St Petersburg sounds lovely when you are ready.
We had hoped to travel together in retirement after all those years spent working to pay for our house, raise our children and paying into pensions. It feels cruel for those plans to be thrown away.
I hope in the future I will feel able to go on holiday and see some more of the world, but it will have to wait until I am ready. Take care Sky
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You learn to cope with it because you can’t do anything about it doesn’t mean you don’t cry everyday but not all day lv annie x x
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Hi Sky
The special occasions do become a little less painful and even though the memories do not fade, they do become less raw. I remember my first birthday without my husband. He died in Sepember and my birthday was just over a week afterwards. He always left me a card propped up against a vase on the table and the words were always beautiful. He wasn’t particularly romantic with words so he chose them carefully in a card and he always wanted me to open it as soon as I got up. One card he bought me cost him over £30 because he had parked on double yellow lines to nip in the shop and he got a ticket. We used to laugh about that
My first birthday without him was unbearable.I had a searing pain in my heart because the table was
bare and I sat and cried all day.
It is three years now and I can cope ok with birthdays but I still look at all the cards he sent to me over the years and each one has a memory.
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Sky, you are entitled to feel miserable, or any other emotion, you have suffered a catastrophic lose and no one can say how you feel isn’t right or normal. I think the whole ‘you’re doing great’ or ‘your so strong’ is peoples way of trying to help but it really doesn’t, even though it’s kindly meant. Only you know what it feels like, and even though we know what you’re going through, it’s still different for everyone.
My husband and I had planned to go to vegas to renew our vows last year, ( on our 20th) but it was pushed back, now I realise the next time I go there it will be to spread his ashes (as he wished). It will be my 50th this year but I shall not be celebrating, I don’t think I ever will again, as my birthday is also our wedding anniversary, at the time it seemed so romantic, now I just feel sad and lonely x
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