Today it is my birthday. I lost my husband 2 months ago today. This is the first birthday in 41 years that he hasn’t been with me to give me a card, a present, a kiss. I just miss him so much. I would do anything just to hear his voice and to feel his love one more time.
It’s unbearable, the one person to make you feel so special and everything seems so meaningless without them I had my birthday in December and didn’t really care about any of it, it’s five months for me alone, thinking of you xx
I’m so sorry Sky, it’s so hard, the one person who matters most isn’t there to celebrate with you. I had my 1st birthday without my husband in November, my first without him in 31 years, it was also our 20th wedding anniversary as we wed on my birthday, it was so hard, I just ignored the date completely, took our kids out for the day and just treated like a normal Saturday, but it was so hard. Sending you hugs x Natasha x
I got my birthday coming up soon it be my 1st one with out my mum which will be hard as I just lost my mum before Christmas then had my 1st Christmas without mum now my birthday is coming up. Last year mum went all out as we were in lockdown and I turned 30 sometimes I wonder if mum did it because she knew she wouldn’t be here this year as we received mum’s letter about needing more tests 2 days before my birthday. I just want to ignore my birthday but others want to celebrate I don’t see the point as the person I want there won’t be. I hope you managed to have a nice day even though it isn’t easy.
I am so sorry for your loss @Sky & for you having to suffer your first birthday without your soulmate. I had my dec birthday, my first without my dear loving big guy in almost 43 years.
I realise how absolutely heartbreaking this is for you, I’m still there.
I kept his cards from last dec (he gave me two, one funny & one loving) & I still have them on mantlepiece. No intentions of taking them down anytime soon
It’s so hard with birthdays and other special dates. I lost my husband ten months ago and it isn’t getting any easier. Life seems so meaningless and I feel I am just going through the motions. I wonder if it will ever change. I have this anxiety in my stomach every morning when I wake. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to alleviate this. Take care sending birthday hug x
Could it be stress ? I notice if I’m sitting I am hunched with my fists closed and am trying to loosen up a bit, I did a guided meditation last week which helped and am going to try a relaxing yoga class, last week at new year I had terrible back ache and my ribs hurt and then I had a complete meltdown and the aches went away, my sister says I was holding in my grief which I think is probably true, it’s so difficult and emotionally exhausting but I think it does manifest itself in physical symptoms too, maybe ask the gp I hope this is helpful and thinking of you at such a sad time for all of us xx
I think you’re right MAB. I worry all the time now about everything and I never seem to really relax, so what you’ve said about stress is spot on!
I think emotional exhaustion is so hard to deal with as a night’s sleep doesn’t make any difference does it?!
I don’t think this time of year helps either, when it’s so cold and dark.
Thank you, it’s good to know you’re all here xx
I think we all try and hold the grief in to spare others. But it is our sadness and our lives that have been tipped upside down. If anyone asks me how I am I will tell them. Bloody dreadful. Those who listen are your friends. Those who dont well what can I say. If I want to cry I will cry even if it comes over me in the street. It is our loss and we have to do what it takes to get through a day. Only when they have lost will the understand. Take care all of you on this journey we are on together xx
Hiya sky the first birthday is terrible my husband always made birthdays special my john passed away 13month ago so look after yourself lv annie x x
Thank you for your response. I am sorry that you are going through this horrible journey as well.
Hi Natasha, Thanks for your message. I tell everyone that I am fine. They tell me how well I am doing. Inside I feel like a hollow shell. I don’t know who I am without him. I am sorry to sound so miserable.
Hi Lou5, it isn’t easy is it. I try to count my blessings. I miss my mum as well even though I am 61. I would love to be able to give her a quick phone call, Sky
Sky I got a big bday coming up in May we had booked to go away to celebrate it now I will have to cancel it and lose my deposit I don’t feel I won’t to go on my own to painful I was dreading becoming 60 but now I don’t care
Hi Maigret, thank you for your kind words. I wish I had kept birthday cards from previous years. They didn’t seem so important then. funnily enough I have found lots of hand made Valentine cards that I had given my husband over the years. I didn’t know he had kept them. Sky
Thanks for responding Nel. I am struggling with anxiety as well. I have always been a worrier but my husband used to calm me down and look after me. Now I feel frightened of everything. I have been listening to guided meditations on YouTube, particularly at night because I don’t sleep much. They might help you relax. Sky
Thank you Annie, you have been in this position longer than I have. Can you offer any reassurance that it gets a bit less painful as the months go past? Love Sky
I am sorry Misprint. We had planned a big trip for my birthday last year but we went into lockdown and couldn’t even go to the pub. We planned on delaying the trip for a year but of course it won’t happen now. Take care, Sky
We planned a cruise to st Petersburg for our fortieth anniversary but like you had to cancel because of covid and I’m just beginning to think could I ? maybe I could still go, maybe even on my own I know my husband would be so pleased if I did even if it takes ten years to pluck up courage it’s an goal that keeps me hopeful and an idea I shared with my husband xx
You don’t sound miserable Sky. I know exactly how you feel xx