My boyfriend was and still is my world and it’s been 21 days and I feel like god has given up on me I lost my mother when she was 26 when I was 4 due to drugs and it feels like a spit in the face that my boyfriend died of a overdose at 21 while I was in the mental hospital I feel like i shouldn’t even be here he made me feel like i finally had a reason he was my soulmate i spent years of my life putting all my love and effort into my boyfriend just to get it all taken away from me way to early so his friend bought him a plane ticket to Miami and they bought xans and he was doing them with his friends and I knew this because when he would call me his speech would be slow I told him I didn’t like what he was doing and we got into a argument through text which lead him to have to call the police even though he was in miami the cops still came to my house in louisiana because I threatened suicide I felt so hopeless and that our relationship would never be the same because to me he was destroying himself and our relationship because of how the pills were making him act so the police came it was may 2nd I got my last phone call with him I had no clue it would be the last in the hospital and then I texted his friend that he should keep a close eye on him then they took my phone and then when I got out of the mental hospital I found out he died on may 8th but he passed on the 5th and i immediately went to his friend and he was telling me that it made him really sad what i did and that he couldn’t really move around or get up and do anything the days leading up to his death before he took all of those pills I just feel like If I wouldn’t have gotten so sad that day he would definitely still be here but also if his friends wouldn’t have had the pills around in the first place it would’ve never happened the last time I got to talk to him was in the hospital before they transferred me to the mental hospital and he had so much planned with me and now I just keep a whole bunch of pictures of him on my bed and all I do is cry and sleep I even took some pills myself to ease it but it didn’t help a lot of the time I feel like I have no other choice but to go be with my soulmate he loved me so much the only person that ever made me feel loved since I grew up with no parents and he was really my first love he was really my everything I just need support he was so talented he did music he had tours coming up it just feels way to early in his life I don’t understand:(
Hello @Dontusethis,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your boyfriend. It sounds like you’ve gone through an awful lot in your life, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
I just wanted to reach out to thank you for sharing so honestly and to let you know there is lots of other support out there. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. The following website might help you find support services closer to home: https://help.befrienders.org/
I also wanted to let you know too that I’ve edited your post very slightly to remove your boyfriend’s name, in order to protect his and your privacy.
Please do keep reaching out and take care,
Seaneen
drugs are a scourge. they have stolen so many lives. I am really sorry.
American society is riddled with it, poor people trying to feel better in a not very good place.
Hang on and consider AL-ANON or counseling if you can. Addiction drugs all that are terrible things to stay far far from. 