I met my boyfriend here in Verbier Switzerland over a year ago, and Iv just had the fairytale of a year, it’s been amazing! We spoke about marriage, children he even got himself a dog as life was finally slotting into place for both of us, we moved in together, got a car and planned to get a bigger place eventually. He was the best thing that had happened to me.
Then life just took it all away and was so cruel, one morning after saying goodbye to me to have a fun day on the snow he got into some trouble and got caught in an avalanche and tragically died.
Iv never experienced such pain in my whole life it’s actually unbelievable how much my body hurts emotionally, it’s even erased my memory for the first few days as I went into shock and was wailing, plus alot of wine made it blurry too. And during these covid times it made things unbearably more stressfull organising all the things afterwards with his family and funural and finances.
So nearly 4weeks after the nightmare started I realised I’m not waking up and it’s actually a reality now… So I’m living day by day on autodrive like a zombie, and the only thing I’m happy do is take a sleeping tablet and sleep
I thought chatting on here might help me
Thankyou for reading
Any tips on wiether I should dwell over messages or pictures or just make a time for that or just try to keep busy but then it hits more when I don’t even realise
@Kate87 sorry you are also having to cope with the sudden death of your partner. Tillwemeetagain is correct there is no right or wrong way to try and cope. We all have days where we try our hardest to be up, but the down days and nights are horrendous. I don’t think I truly realised what a broken heart was until I physically experienced such a rock hard hurting pain in my chest. I have no answers for you, but this site has helped me realise that others are experiencing anguish and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness too. Wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but in a weird way it is good here online with anonymous people to find we are not alone with our thoughts and feelings.
A lot of people on here (not all) have been with their partners/husbands for many years in a stable relationship where they have had children together and their families are completely entwined. Unfortunately not all of us are in that position, and not being next of kin can cause difficulties and a lot of upset.
I hope you get fairly treated and respected by your boyfriend’s family. He loved you, and wanted his future with you. Always keep that in your heart.
So sorry for your sudden loss.
I think there’s no right or wrong way or a right or wrong time. If you want to look at photos or read messages it’s not necessarily dwelling it’s memories you may want to revisit. But if you don’t feel you can that’s ok too. I would only say don’t do anything hastily, give yourself time.
I send my husband WhatsApp messages, I still have his phone, no contract on it but it still has WiFi. It’s like my daily journal, a place to ramble or shout at the world. Some may think that strange but not to me, it’s my journey.
You’ll find your way but don’t expect too much of yourself and reach out. Took me a year to share on here and it has helped knowing you’re not alone. However you are feeling and those times when you think it’s just you, someone else is feeling it too.
Take care x
I joined this community a few weeks ago 6months after my partner sudden passing. It has been huge source of strength as everybody has their own experience and you realise that someone feels the same as you particularly during this times of covid where we are even more isolated and strugglining. with so much else. Even reading posts and not commenting helps me.
The others are right take one day at a time and be kind to yourself this is something i have particularly struggled with. Due in part to some things that were said to me by others which made me feel that i wasnt justified in feeling so broken.
We were together 5 years and had so many plans . You have to do what feel right for you, I talk to him Send him texts take pictures of things.
He is my soul mate and that wont ever change nor will my love for him
Thinking of you all especially as i know tomorrow is going to be another huge struggle for us. Big huhs X
I also re read all the mundane messages about shopping, it’s a bitter sweet pain, but one that I feel I need. If I find I try to carry on without a purposeful reminder I become a bit in denial.
