On 2nd Dec my dad fell at home after just coming home from hospital on Monday. He had a broken ankle. He fell which is normal but this time he was short of breath. I called an ambulance we went off but had to sit outside for 3 hours. In the ambulance he told me his foot hurt which I thought was him re breaking it. Then he told me his stomach hurt. We went into hospital he went for a CT scan a doctor came to tell me the results and within 10 minutes of the doctors telling me he had a pulmonary embolism he went into cardiac arrest. His heart was restarted 3 times but on the fourth time they tried for an hour but it wouldn’t restart. I know it’s only been 2 days but I can’t see a way out.
My dad was my everything he has fought cancer and multiple illnesses but always made it through. I feel guilt not getting him seen quicker and arguing with the ambulance. I have a pain in my chest that’s constant and happened as soon as I watched him go. My whole life revolved around looking after him. I just want to be with him
I am so sorry. what a shock. mine is gone too. it is so very hard.
however they do die, there is nothing we can do.
your father would see your plight and not want you to blame yourself.
he was so lucky to have had you there. you were under great stress.
I miss my parents exceedingly. you are not alone. 
@Loopy92 oh you poor thing. That must have been a real shock for you. I lost my lovely dad in March and fight the tears and horrific feeling each day. I like you was with him right until the end and we can only hope that they knew how much they were loved at that time. I would love to tell you it gets easier but the feeling of loss is with you all the time. I hope you find some relief chatting to others on here. It has helped me just knowing I am not alone and reading others who miss their dad so much makes me feel
Normal. Here anytime if you need a chat. That feeling in the pit of my stomach is still
Present some days worse than others even after 9 months. It’s a real shame and so sad
Oh, I’m so sorry. Lost my dad a few weeks ago. We lived together and like yours he had always pulled through before and I was certain he would now. I understand. The emptiness is . 
Thankyou 
Thankyou it’s a comfort to speak to someone that knows the feeling x
It is. And no one here judges you for how or how long you grieve. Keep talking here and feel free to PM me if you like.
I’m so sorry for what your Dad went through, and I’m sorry you are left with the memory and the pain and reality of your Dad’s passing.
I know the feeling of wanting to be with your Dad…I want to be with my mine, all the time…He passed on (I don’t say “died or passed away”) in July this year.
I find that because me and my Dad were so close, I often know in my heart what he would say to things - and other people say the same when I talk about this…I’m sure you knew your Dad better than anyone…
What would he say to you right now?
And can you find the strength to believe it with your whole heart?
I bet I know what he would say - He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself, - how do I know this? Because any good Dad out there, would not want his daughter to feel bad…Dad’s wan’t to protect their children…So don’t let yourself give into that guilt…
What happened wasn’t your fault, and I’m sure you’re in shock after it being - not so long ago since this happened.
My Dad passed on with terminal cancer, and I find myself thinking - I could have got him better treatment, I could have done things different…But I know deep down, I can’t control everything - and Dad would say the same.
Just by being his child, you were one of - if not THE best things in his life.
I can tell by the way you have written this post that you looked after him; as I did my Dad, with appointments, scans, medications etc.
How would your Dad look after you right now?
Try and believe that you know the answers, what he would say, and honour him by doing that …
I am sending you all my love xx
L