My dad died

I’m lying in bed trying fall sleep but keep crying , my dad died in September last year. Still sucks though lol.

Thing is…this is gonna sound odd … But -
I luckily committed suicide ( years ago) so know truly were he’s gone, and heaven exists etc, lol.

But how long does grief last? How long will I cry myself to sleep every night? Cause blah. I don’t know why I’m like this every night. Ugh