My Dad is dying

I’m waiting by his bedside and I’m scared of my emotions

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Dear @Meurigfa, I am so sorry to read this. Do you have any friends or family with you? Being by the bedside whilst someone is dying is one of the worst things you will ever experience, you are in my thoughts.

I watched my grandad die as I sat beside my mum. My advice to her at that time was to leave nothing unsaid, reassure him, forgive his mistakes if you’re able, and most importantly to be present. If there is one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t predict the journey that grief will take your on. Try not to be afraid of those unknowns. You’ll find a way to manage when it’s time. For now, and this is only my opinion, id make the most of your time with him. There are lots of people on here that will offer great advice, but believe in yourself too, you’ll know what to do x

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My sister is here at times but she has had all she can take at the moment. He keeps coming back to us despite barely breathing. It hurts very much but I appreciate your thoughts

Thanks @CatP21 we’ve said everything now and he’s unconscious 99% of the time but he won’t give up the fight despite wanting to go. The worst pain ever…

Hope you’re doing as well as you can at this awful time, here if you need to talk.

Thanks @Abdullah I’m still sat with him. I’m OK at the moment but have wobbles. I’m really grateful to you for reaching out. Best wishes Mark

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@Tillwemeetagain that’s really kind of you but I don’t know how much longer I can be with him. It’s heartbreaking. My brothers and sister have said their goodbyes but I want to be here in case he wants me. My own wife and kids can’t bear watching me so upset and want me home. I don’t know what to do

@Tillwemeetagain thank you so much. I’ll do as you suggest. A break will be good for me. Thank you

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Hi, thanks for think of me. I’ve not gone to the hospital today. I needed a break. I’m doing OK compared to the last few days. Thanks again @Tillwemeetagain

It is a horrible thing to go through and I watched my wife die on 26 September. It will stay with me for whatever time I have left. However I am glad I was there. I spoke to her and told her to let go and for the first time in her life put herself first. And she died two hours later and although I was heartbroken and still am I am also glad she went. No more pain or suffering. And although it is going to be horrendous there is comfort in that fact. You will surprise yourself how strong you really are.

Hi @Seanie I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s agony isn’t it. It sounds like you did everything possible for her and I feel comfort from the belief that I couldn’t have done any more.
Dad died 23.20 on Saturday having stayed a lot longer than he needed to. He was comfortable and pain free.
I feel better than I did but you and I have both got a long journey to feeling better again.
Take care @Seanie and many thanks for taking the time to get in touch.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I spent the weekend with my nana before she died. I wasn’t there when she did which I was glad about as I didn’t wanna see it happen. However then my grandad died two month later and I was the one holding his hand. The room was full of his sons ( my dad and his brothers) and they all just stood back looking at him I couldn’t bear him being alone so I held his hand till well after he died. And although that experience has scard me for life I will never ever regret it and now only wish I was there for nana as she died moments before family got up to the ward to visit her that day. We had just missed her. You have to do what feels best you yourself at the time. Don’t beat yourself up. He knew you were there :heart:

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Meurigfa I didnt realise he had passed. So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

Hi Meurigfa

My Dad and I were with my Mam when she died in January and I was with my Dad when he died last month. I’m really glad I was with them both but I feel so alone now. I get flashbacks of him taking his last breath when I lie in bed at night.

He was in hospital unlike my Mam. I was called in at 7am and he passed just before 1pm. I’m not sure how I’d have felt if I’d had to stay for days.

How are you feeling now?

I am so sorry to hear this. Similarly my Dad passed away just over one month ago and I understand your pain. I miss him so much but was somewhat comforted at being able to be with him in his final days and hours. Love and loss are sadly inseparable. I hope you find comfort, and especially over Christmas.

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