My Dad is dying

Terminal illness
1

My Dad is dying and has just gone into palliative care. Even though he has not yet gone, I am already grieving because I lost the Dad I knew months ago. I am reading a book “Saying Goodbye to Dad” and it is very supportive but I am scared because I now realise that I was mistaken in my belief that I was getting my grieving over before the event and the worst is yet to come.

2

Hi LindyLou

Sending a virtual hug. I understand and have exactly the same fear.

I lost my dad in May last year then 6 weeks later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I feel I have already cried and grieved so much but people warn me it will hit me when my mum dies.

I just don’t know. I am hoping that the shock we have felt will not have to be gone through again and maybe we can skip the denial “phase” but who knows. It is such a difficult and unpredictable thing.

You sound similar to me though, researching it, reading and trying to be prepared. Maybe we can help each other by chatting on here.

Take care
Ann x

3

Hello to both you, I do hope you will keep in touch because the support from someone on the same journey is so very important. Each person goes through the grieving process differently but we all need support. Give your dad our love L, we are all thinking of you. Love xxx

4

Hi Susie,

Yes, the support here really helps. How are things with you?

Hi LindyLou,

How are you?

I’ve had a couple of days away and it has been like a grief holiday getting away from it all. I know it is temporary and it will hit me like a tidal wave again soon though.

Ann x

5

I am so pleased you had a short break and yes knowing that the tidal wave keeps coming back is good but it gets less often and less in strength over time. We are all different and we all grieve different but some of it is universal. Find lots of things to keep you busy and try to enjoy each day. Things get better with time. When ever you feel that the wave is about to take overyou, go for a walk or what ever will take your mind of the sadness, this is easier to write than do but if you manage to do it, the wave has to fight it’s way into your mind which is hard for the ‘wave’.
Take care, love and blessings.

6

Thank you Susie.

Good advice. I will get my wet suit on for the next one…

Take care
Ann x