My dad passed away last night. He had had a good weekend but his carer found him very poorly on Monday, he was not for escalation as was end stage Parkinson’s and had prostate cancer. He was put on a syringe driver at home on Tuesday and was unresponsive since then. We stayed with him till the end but the final few hours were traumatic to witness and I can’t get the images out of my head. I am holding onto the fact that he is now at peace but this has been just awful. My mum also has a terminal diagnosis and I know we are also going to have to go through this with my mum and it is just so hard
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Hello @Smithynik,
Thank you for reaching out at what must be a really difficult time. I’m so sorry to hear that your dad died last night. It sounds like those final hours were incredibly difficult to witness, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to get the images out of your head. I’m glad you were able to be with him in his final moments, but this doesn’t mean that the experience is any less traumatic or painful.
I’m also sorry that alongside grieving your dad, you are also dealing with your mum’s terminal diagnosis. That sounds like such a lot to be carrying.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
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Hello Smithynik, im sorry for the loss of your father, it is quite painful witnessing the death of our loved ones, that happened to me as well, ..and so sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis as well, spend as much quality time with her as possible, my heart goes out to you, hope you have support around you during these sad, difficult moments, take care of yourself and may God bless you 
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Very sorry to hear about your loss. xxx
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Hey, I just wanted to pop a message to say your not alone in what you are going through. My dad just passed of terminal cancer and my mum was diagnosed 3 weeks after dad. Hopefully mum’s cancer is treatable.
Feel free to reach out and private message me. It doesn’t feel like it now but you will get through it and it will become lighter. X
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Hello I lost my mother in August last year; I’m 64 and single lost my dad and only sister already so mums death is still hitting me very hard; mum was 95 had a fall from bed breaking her femur in 2 places from then on it was so painful to watch in and out of hospital 4 times in 10 weeks she suffered 4 infections after successfully recovering from the operation really bad bedsores her carers were reported for this I was with her day and night; if mum had died a normal death it would have been a bit easier because everyday my mind cannot forget the suffering she endured; I’m on sertraline 100mg and have had counselling but each day I think is it worth it. The only good thing was I asked for help from st francis hospice and because of mums condition and the stress I was under her last 2 weeks was actually in the hospice where her care was fabulous but my mind keeps remembering the really bad 8 weeks and not the last couple when she was getting lovely care and attention. I’m not a writer so hopefully this makes sense to everyone; all the best.
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I’m so sorry for the painful last few hours your had with your dad.
I was also surprised how much pain my Dad was in during the last few days. He was DNR after a very short illness (6 weeks from first GP visit to when he died) and I assumed they could make him comfortable, but it was awful to watch :’(
i am so relieved my dad is now at peace, but those last images were tough. I’ve visited my dad in the Chapel of Rest. First time was really tough and I found it borderline traumatic as my Dad looked quite normal. But I prepared to say goodbye properly the second time I visited and it felt more peaceful.
If all you can see are those images of him struggling in hospital, I definitely recommend going to see him in the Chapel of Rest. But be prepared to ‘lose’ him all over again xxx