Hello, I’m new to this but thought I would give it a go.
My dad passed in the summer time at home from COPD, this year. I have completely lost all control of my emotions. I’ve cried and cried so much, been angry and shut myself away. Anti-depressents arent helping and a few relationships around me are breaking down because of this, especially with my mum. I still live at home (I’m 22) and now Xmas is nearing, I feel the tension and pressure rising very quick. I feel I get a lot of the blame, not for his death but for any bad emotion felt by her or me. It seems to come back on me alot and how I’m never there for support. I’ve tried to hide my own feelings but feel I’m reaching breaking point now. The waiting list for one to one support is so long at the moment but at this point I just need someone to be able to relate to me or tell me something, even online. I can’t see how me and mum are going to improve at this point and I personally feel I’ve been there for her as much as possible. I’m stuck with this one. No one around me seems to understand the pain this death has caused for my family (a very small family indeed) and I find myself getting angry with people who try to give advice, when they’ve not experienced it or tries to compare it to someone not as significant, as a parent (I don’t at all mean for that to sound horrible)
Xx