My Dad

I’m struggling at the moment, and come across this website reading the forums it sounded really helpful.
I lost my dad 5.5 years ago. However it feels like yesterday
I havnt accepted at all that his gone
I lost him in feb and was getting married in august. Then went on to build a new house and then a farm. Took a few promotions at work. And just feel like it’s been non stop. And now I’m struggling, I have had dizziness for last couple of years and had all medical checks there is nothing wrong with me. It’s come down to stress.
I hadn’t lost anyone before my Dad, I took over ‘man of the house’ since he passed and support my mum. Which I am so proud I can do for Dad. But it’s so hard.
I can’t talk about my dad without bursting into tears but then immediately stop and stop thinking about him
Which I believe is my problem, I can easily switch it off and ignore it.
And ‘I’m too busy to cry I havnt got time for that’ is my go to excuse!
I started seeing a bereavement councillor last week - hoping that can help and as such be my switch off/ cry time!
Thanks for reading x

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Hi Cassie,
So sorry to hear about your dad, it’s so good to talk about things, I am new to this site too and just being able to be in a community that understands had made such a difference. Keep posting, it doesn’t have to be a regular thing.

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im really sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad and you just described the feeling perfectly. I thought it was just me. I still cannot talk or think about my dad without crying.
I also just switch it off easily with the excuse of being „too busy“ the real reason behind it is to avoid a full breakout.
Just not ready to face that loss yet.

You’ve done a lot and kept busy, you just didn’t give yourself the time to feel and to grieve properly.
You’ve achieved a lot of things and being the man of the house after a loss is a huge responsibility. I’m sure your dad would’ve been extremely proud and your mom is immensely grateful. I think you were purposefully hard on yourself, occupying yourself with work, chores basically everything just to avoid the big confrontation. Must’ve been hard for you mentally and affected your overall health.
You’re doing really good, you’ve achieved great things!! I’m glad you’re letting yourself be vulnerable.
I hope your bereavement counseling goes well and you heal wonderfully!! Take care of yourself and take care of your health