I lost my dad on 30th January’24. He was my world. He went into hospital on 20th January as I thought he was having a stroke. After investigation he was actually in Septic Shock! and 10 days later he passed away. I was with him all day, everyday until the end. I’m due to go back to work on Monday 19th Feb but the funeral is on Wed 21st Feb. I’m self-employed, so need to go back to work, but I’m dreading it. The loss of my dad has hit me hard and I’m dreading the funeral, as I know I will go to pieces, I’m just not handling anything at the moment. I hate even going out of the house. Dad and I were meant to be away this week with my grandchildren, his great grandchildren, it just makes me cry as he loved live so much. I just want my dad back
Hello @Kay55,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad - it sounds like it was a massive shock to you. Thank you for reaching out to the community. Many of our members have lost their dads so will understand some of what you’re going through right now.
Your loss is so recent and it’s completely understandable you feel that you aren’t handling things at the moment. You might want to look at our how long does grief last? support page, which may help to reassure you that what you are feeling is normal, and you are not alone.
You can also claim Universal Credit if you’re self-employed. I’m not sure what your circumstances are, but it may be that it can give you a little breathing space. You can see what you would be entitled to here: https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted you to know that you have been heard.
I’m sorry, Kay. I lost my dad a few months ago, so I can relate though I’m a little further along. It’s ok to not be able to handle anything right now. You’re in shock and in pain. It’s ok to go to pieces. 
Do you have to work specific hours? Maybe you could start with working just a hour or two, then take a break and continue later? Or work in the evening instead of during the day if you feel worse that day?
@Kay55 Sorry about your Dad. It’s still early days for you. I found those first weeks the hardest as you adapt to a new normal so be kind to yourself. Funerals are meant for that raw show of emotion so try not to worry about that. Also try not to worry about not handling things well. You’re experiencing a major event in your life. My Dad died 11 months ago & I can’t believe it’s been that long. The journey’s a rough one & there’s no shortcut thru it. X
Thank you for your advice, I’m going to give it some thought about easing myself back to work slowly. I’m sorry for your loss.