Hi. I’m new to the group and struggling with my Dads death 3 months ago. He was 93 and I’m 60. I helped Mum care for him. He had dementia and Alzheimer’s and I am just heartbroken. I accept he was “a good age” and it was” a blessing” in some ways but his leaving has left a massive hole in my life and I just feel broken. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you.
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Dear @edon
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad and that you are struggling, which is understandable . Losing a parent does leave a big hole in your life.
Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace, it is not a race and there will be good days and bad days, it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I would like to share a few resources by Sue Ryder with you that may be of help and support to you at this time.
Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. Family and friends can also use this free service.
- There is a self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide
- Information on the Stages of Grief
- Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
- There is also a blog on Losing a Parent which may be of help and support to you.
You can also connect with members here who have been in a similar situation as yourself by using the search bar above. We all understand the pain of losing a loved one.
It might be helpful to make an appointment with your GP if you have not done so already so you can see what kind of support they can offer you and let them know how you are feeling.
There is also an amazing organisation called The Silver Line which is for anyone aged 55 and over for someone to talk to. They do have a free 24 hour telephone service on 0800 4 70 80 90 7 days a week. They provide friendship, conversation and support.
I do hope all the above will be of help to you, you are not alone, we the Community are here for you. Keeping reaching out and talking to us here.
Take care.
Peppers xx
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Hi,
Loosing a parent is tough, I lost my mom to cancer 2 years ago, she was only 64 at the time, & I still feel the empty spaces, & sometime need a good cry. Parents are such a big part of our lives, & they’re there for so much so we feel it more when they pass. Take it a day at a time. I guess people tend to say the same clichés of “lived to a good age”, & things like that because they don’t know what to say, they want to be comforting, but what do you say to a friend in that situation?
I look at it like carrying a backpack full of rocks, when they first pass it’s really heavy on you, but over time it’s like the rocks shrink, they’re still there, but it becomes a weight your more comfortable to manage.
Sending hugs of support.
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@edon so sorry for the loss of your Dad, i lost my Dad 7 months ago and it still hurts like mad, im finding it very hard at the moment with the run up to Fathers Day 
Nothing i can say will make your loss easier but honestly time does help, the analogy that Pandaprincess makes is perfect the rocks shrink in time and the weight become more manageable. Have you got people around to talk to? To be honest i have but i do find the threads on here great, very comforting and great support.
We are here to chat whenever you need it. Sending love 
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@edon my dad died 8 days before his 92nd birthday. He had parkisnons with lewy body dementia.
One of the first things someone said to me was he had ‘had a good innings’ … i agreed politely and made all the same noises (done well for his age, fought bravely etc.) When all i wanted to do was scream.
You’ve still lost a parent, at that point in my grief it didnt matter his age, i was just a heartbroken little girl who had lost the man she adored.
Its been 6 months since dad died. I’m now grateful I had 46 years with him, I miss him terribly and I’d move heaven and earth to hold his hand again.
3 months is still really early days, take your time, allow your grief space and be kind to yourself.
I found losing a parent is life altering x
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