My dad passed away suddenly 5 weeks ago and i still have days where i struggle to accept he’s gone. His death was traumatic as we had to administer CPR and I’m guilty we didnt do enough or be there for him quick enough as he passed from myocardial infarction (sudden heart blockage), which came totally out of the blue given he was up and walking just 2 hrs before. Im not yet back at work as my mindset isnt in it and don’t want my work to feel im taking advantage of the time off adding to feeling more stressed.
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I’m so sorry for your sudden loss. I think talking about what’s happened is a great start. Try not to worry about work,you are no good to anyone if your mind isn’t in it and it sounds like you are still processing what has happened which is completely understandable. Have you spoken to your GP? X
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Im calling my GP today. Now all his business is sorted and its quietened down, im now feeling its just hit me after all these weeks that he isnt coming back and its like trying to process it all over again. Thanks for your chat x
Anytime happy to chat whenever x
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So sorry to read this. If it makes you feel any less anxious about work, when we lost my dad out of the blue in November I took off 3.5 months with a doctor’s sick note, and then had a 12-week phased return.
You’re dealing with so much, when you lose a parent with no warning whatsoever. The shock, the grief. It’s just unbearable. Be gentle on yourself. 
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I have another sick line to cover to the end of next week and will see how it goes. Its only been 6 weeks today we lost him and it feels like yesterday. Im not one for going off work lightly and havent had a sick day since 2018 which then was just 1 day. Its definetly the shock of what happened thats consuming me and the guilt did i do CPR properly, could i have saved him.? Day at a time 
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Yes, I forgot to say, that prior to my dad’s cardiac arrest, my sick record was squeaky clean, and I was proud of it. But I was also fortunate in having had self-care modelled to me, as my boss had had around 3 months’ sick leave when he lost his dad.
Well done for performing CPR. You stepped in and provided your dad with a chance. It can be really scary, but you absolutely did what you needed to do. You kept his cells oxygenated until the paramedics were able to deliver shocks. If his heart wasn’t in a shockable rhythm (a possibility, unless you know differently) then there’s nothing that could be done. Might it help to speak to someone who knows more about these things, like British Heart Foundation nurses, who can reassure you from a more experienced point of view?
My Dad died 27th August of the same thing… or at least that was one of things on his death certificate… he had a stent fitted 14th August then 48 hours later, had a heart attack at home, never regained consciousness, 11 days in hospital, docs did and tried everything but ended with multiple organ failure… he was never going to get better, me and Mum had to make difficult decision to turn off machines… i was with him, holding his hand as he died. Had the funeral last Monday and feels like everything should be normal again as apart from my Mum, not one member of my family has checked in on me… I went back to work yesterday, 2 shifts in and feeling totally physically and mentally drained, exhausted… i feel like i’m trying to keep going for everyone else but not getting a chance to get time to myself to grieve. I miss him so much, in some ways it still doesn’t feel real. I’m struggling 