My darling Pauline

Pauline my beautiful darling I miss you so much this existence now is so empty without you I love you with all my heart and soul and always will I’m so lost withoutyou I really don’t want this life anymore not withoutyou I love our pets and that’s why I keep going for them and you but it’s getting harder everyday all I think about is you it’s like my heart is being torn apart and ripped out every second I’m not going to love anyone ever again I’m switching of from family I will love you and our pets forever no one bothers with me I’m totally alone apart from our pets I’m struggling with bad thoughts and they are getting worse I would have given my life if it would have saved you but now existing through this heartache I wouldn’t want you to go through this it’s nothing but pain I do treasure the years we had but God baby I miss you so very much I’m nothing withoutyou I hate being withoutyou I hate myself I hate life you and our pets are everything that’s good in my life and now you are gone I can’t get my head around it I want to hold you so badly all I do is cry it’s not right you were such a kind gentle woman thankyou Pauline for loving me wait for me baby we will be together again one day my heart and soul are yours forever be at peace my darling

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Casey, I feel your pain and understand fully how you feel. Life without our soulmate is horrible but honestly we do keep going, as you say we have to for our animals. Please don’t close down on the family, if you are lucky enough to have family near enough for you to visit them or them visit you, please make the effort it will be worth it.
May I suggest you think of counselling, it does help just to talk to someone and let it all out because there’s no else you can unload all your emotions. Cruse or Sue Ryder have counselling services but if you are feeling really low then talk to the Samaritans on 116123 but please never think you are alone. There’s so many on this site that feel just like you and I have myself but unfortunately life goes on and somehow we do learn to live with the pain, don’t ask me how but we seem to.
Please take extra care because at present you are very vulnerable both physical and mentally.
Sending big hugs and blessings to you. S xxx

Dear Casey, I too feel the pain which is on going with no escape, I don`t feel normal any more how can we? my life has been torn apart like you. We have a future but not the future we want, we can only carry on for now. Lots of hugs x

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@SusieM thanks susie I really am trying I just miss her so much I finally picked up her belongings from the hospital on Tuesday ever since I had bad chest pain I have asked one of my nieces to message me once a day the doctors think I might have had a heart attack and suggested I go to hospital but I can’t do that there is no one to take care of my pets the messageing lasted a week or so then a few days were missed I asked if it was a problem to message me and the response I got was I don’t want to feel its a chore to message you and you only want me to message to make sure you haven’t died as I said to her I just want to know that if something happens to me someone would get help for my pets I barely hear from anyone in my family I go weeks without talking to anyone that’s why I’m shutting of from them apart from our pets the only person who loved me is gone I do get support on here I am so very sorry for your loss I have my first grief counselling session on Tuesday over the phone

@jack10 thanks Jack that is all we can do keep going until we are reunited with our soulmates this is so painfull going on without them and your right I don’t feel normal either but I will keep on trying its all we can do now take care