Lizzy1982
I feel I have a big bubble above my head saying “ yes it’s me,my daughter passed away and these are my grandchildren “!!
It’s a never ending mind,that doesn’t stop !
X
Firstly my heartfelt condolences for your loss. My eldest daughter died 14months ago. The death of a child will always be sewn tightly inside the lining of a mother and father’s broken heart. And, whilst, we all know life will never be the same, for me there is a little more space opening up around my grief. Yes, It feels scary and empty and at times even desolate, but also a little more hopeful. My daughter had a real passion for life and despite so many serious challenges she was always full of fun and good humour. For me it is now time, to consciously channel her love of life and count my blessings for this uncertain gift of each new day. This is not easy in fact, at times, it feels impossible but the alternative is just more unbearable suffering.
It must be so difficult for you having to carry on and cope with young children and with your grief. I can imagine you see your beloved daughter’s life unfolding everyday in the blessing of your grandchildren. My daughter did not have children but my youngest has two and we can see their auntie in their fun and joyful laughter. So, this first memorial year they helped us plant seeds and make memories. We talked about how some seeds wont grow but others will flower and then rest up for winter. Some will appear in spring or summer and others will stay underground and help feed the soil so that the next seeds can flower. My hope is that, in time, the seed of our sorrow will be planted to transform and blossom and nurture lasting memories of my beloved daughter for my grandchildren. There is only one thing worse than death and that is being forgotten. Many blessing’s sent to you and yours and to all those who find some comfort here.
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Thank you you’re words are lovely
We also planted lots of bulbs I 2pots for spring time xx
It’s true we are all hurting,wondering how we get through each day !!! But yet we do ,I know am not the only one wishing I could turn back time , take my daughters place !cry many times a day.The pain is physical that always sits close,it comes in overwhelming waves . Yet here we are sharing!! I was told the depth of the grief,means I loved my Sarah deeply. I did she was and will be my ONE.
I live for my daughters2 children,she told me I had to!
Know you are not alone xxx
Hi Susan it be very difficult seeing your son in law with someone else but no one will take the place of your daughter . Gemma split up with husband a before she had Ollie and come to live with me . The dad is involved but it was my daughters wishes my grandson stayed with me . We have a very close bond . I don’t want to think about him meeting someone but I know he will . I’m really struggling at the minute like everyone is on here x
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Me13
Do you mind me asking what kind of breast cancer your daughter had? We have four generations of the BRCA gene !
Thank you for your text .so sorry about your daughter . It’s the hardest thing getting up everyday . I have to keep my grief inside for my grandson. Busy with elf on shelf now he loves it he gets so excited to see what mischief he’s been up to bless him . He’s only six my heart breaks for him . He’s a lovely sweet boy
Hi Susan I’m not sure if you’re receiving my messages. My daughter had metastatic cancer she passed away nearly 2 years ago . X
ME13
Sarah 1st got breast cancer age 30 while 20 pregnant with Oscar
Treatment started and stopped for labour and started again and she was so brave then she had about a year and a half and was told she was cancer free
She fell pregnant with Ivy. She thought she had a capsulated breast at the end of that pregnancy with Ivy but two months later we found out she had stage four metastatic cancer. She only got to live for another seven and a bit months after her second diagnosis 10 days away from Ivy for her birthday, but we carried the gene that made Sarah much more susceptible to get breast cancer .
Harry works full-time so I can have the children 5+ days a week and because he started seeing someone which the children haven’t met yet!!! I have them a lot of the weekend too because we share the house although they do have their own space downstairs it is very difficult because I feel I have to run things by him with anything to do with the children but with Sarah we could just chat we do get on with Harry he was Sarah’s partner for 12 years but it seems like things have changed a lot since he’s been seeing someone now and the emotions of that are very hard on me
Everything I do is for them, and I’m sure it’s exactly the same for you
Susan
I am so sorry. It is so very hard getting used to a different life after losing our children. My daughter’s husband also has a new partner which can be tricky but we can only do our best.
I feel as though we have to advocate for our daughter as she is no longer here. Do you feel as though your son in law has moved on too quickly? xxx
VictoriaP
Hi , very much so ! Months ,the children haven’t met her yet , he works with her and was a matter of months4-5
He tried to keep it a secret,but I knew and never said anything till this summer am hurting that he want to and that he can , instead of be still hurting over losing who was the love of his life and mother of his 2 children!!! We are trying our best to keep the open mind and we don’t want the relationship to break down for the sake of our 2granchildren x thank you
X
I am so sorry for your pain. We lost our beloved son just over a year ago to a rare cancer, and he too left a 4 year old little girl that he totally loved and adored. She lives with her mum but we look after her loads and we both adore her. I hate to see her pain at losing her wonderful daddy but she I so very like him that I think she is a gift for us. I’m glad your grandson makes life possible because this grief is so very very hard
Hi Claire thanks for your message. It’s 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep which I know is like everyone on here . The middle of the night is such a lonely place . My mind is in overdrive. My grandson s second Christmas with his beautiful mummy . Life is so cruel . X
Hi Clairex
I too am so sorry for the loss of your son ,it’s good your granddaughter is in your life.Oscar was nearly 4 when Sarah passed away and I have never once saw him cry ?? He talks about her ,but it’s as if he saw her poorly and excepted it ,he says some sweet things about memories. I think I fill the gap! Until as I know where will be someone else ,what’s the thing that also hurts !!
I wish you well xx
sleep Me13 … up and down and a mind that never stops !! I take a sleeping tablet ,sometimes works well sometimes not!I got go to bed hoping to dream of Sarah x
Hi Susan I’ve got sleeping tablets but like you say they don’t always work . Busy day at work then judo with my grandson hopefully I’ll sleep better tonight . Thank you for replying x
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