Hi I really don’t know what to say . I’ve come on several times and never managed to post . My beautiful daughter passed away neary2 years ago from secondary breast cancer she fought this horrible disease for 2 years and never once complained. She left behind a beautiful little boy 4 years old how do you explain to him . It was hardest thing I’ve done . I have full custody of him he’s my rock . Every time I look at him my heart breaks. My little grandson is amazing. I don’t know where I would be without him.
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Hello @Me13,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter that brings you here.
It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job bringing up your grandson. It can be tough supporting a grieving child when we’re grieving ourselves. I know that lots of members have found Winston’s Wish really helpful. They provide grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website.
Books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.
You deserve care and support, too. Sadly, many of our members have experienced the loss of a child and will understand some of what you’re going through, and I hope you find the community to be a support to you.
You may also want to look at The Compassionate Friends. They support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
I’m so sorry you have lost your beautiful girl. I too lost my precious daughter 6 years ago, leaving her 2 boys behind. I want you to know that somehow it does get easier. I found that eventually a peacefulness settled around me. It is very hard but try to keep posting here as I have found this site a life saver. Sending you a big hug this evening x
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Thank you so much for your reply . You have been very kind passing on some advice.
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Hello thanks for sharing with me about your daughter I’m so sorry I don’t know what to say . The pain we going through is unbearable. Every day is a battle.
Thank you for all the links . So kind of you to get in touch . I am new on here and don’t know what I’m doing yet .
Just keep posting how you are feeling if you can. I have found that this is a safe space to let out your feelings or to talk about your daughter and this has helped me so much x
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Christmas is very hard I know is difficult for everyone on here . My daughter loved Christmas she got so excited. She loved doing the naughty elf for my grandson . I am doing that for him bless him he loves it getting up every morning see what he’s done . I’m finding it very difficult because it should be her doing these things for her little boy . I feel guilty doing things like that . The tree is up the decorations all out for my grandson I want to make it special for him but inside my heart is breaking .
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I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I feel your pain as I lost my daughter 6 months ago. She struggled with her mental health and sadly decided to take her own life. I’m really struggling to deal with it, she was only 22. I still can’t actually believe she’s gone and still expect her to text or phone it’s so strange. At the funeral it was as though I was at someone else’s funeral and couldn’t quite comprehend it was my daughter in the coffin. Some days I can’t stop crying and other days I feel ok. I get angry, feel sad , guilt and I just really don’t know what to do with myself .
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I’m so so sorry. My daughter also took her own life and it is the most terrible pain to go through. I felt so heartbroken, guilty, sad and desperately wanted to turn the clock back. For us it came completely out of the blue. I want you to know that it does get easier to live with somehow.
My daughter is called Gemma and for months I would pretend that she was at work or at home with her boys. I would imagine her cooking the supper or driving around. It sounds mad now but I found it comforting and it helped to get me through those dark days. Keep posting if you can as it helped me so much. Sending you the biggest of hugs xxx
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I’m sorry about daughter I feel your pain. Every day is difficult getting out of bed to face the day is very hard then I see my little grandson smiling and laughing he’s my star my reason to get up . I have a son and daughter aswell I feel so guilty because I feel I don’t give them enough they are grieving aswell but they worry about me all the time . I’ve only been on this site a few days myself I’m finding it difficult what to say .
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Hi Victoria my daughter was also called Gemma or Gem as we called her she was my little Gem x
We call my Gemma Gem too. My mum called her Jemima Puddle Duck! I also have a son and another daughter … such a coincidence. I am truly sorry you are navigating through this. It is so very hard trying to deal with your own grief and the grief of your other children. I have found though that my other two have become closer since we lost Gemma. Gemma had the very severe form of postnatal depression which affected her mental health and she never really recovered. It was a huge shock when we finally lost her as we thought she was doing better. I’m happy to private message you if that would be helpful xx
I’d really love to private message you how do we do that ? X
Hi lizzy so sorry about your daughter it’s unbearable the pain you’re feeling. I’m new on here also and don’t really know what I’m doing . Not if I replied to you already I’m not good with this online stuff sorry . Feel free to message anytime x
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Hello my name is Susan
I also lost my beautiful daughter aged 34 to secondary breast cancer ,he had 2children age 3and 11 months when she passed 1 October last year
Am still very lost without her , I have the children here with me also my son-in law
But he has a girlfriend now and am really struggling with having to deal with that
Am hoping to connect with a mum like me
Am so sorry for your loss and I can finally say I know how you feel
Sarah was and still is my world x
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Hello Susan I’m karen so sorry about your daughter. There are no words I can say to you but I know how sad your feeling we have broken hearts a big piece missing. How are you your grandchildren they are very young just like my grandson.
Am so sorry for you , it’s like a pain and torture every day !
Empty and alone, yet moving though the day !,I have my grandchildren with me
As my daughter and partner were here when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer cancer
But I know that will change as he has a girlfriend now ,that breaks my heart just thinking of my grandchild with another woman
So many different emotions and anxiety every day ! I know am not alone, I just want to connect to someone who is in a similar situation?
Thank you
Hello Karen, my name is Susan
Oscars for nearly 5 and Ivy has just turned 2 Sarah passed away 10 days before Ivy‘s first birthday she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in the February. It was very aggressive and nothing really helped.
She was my only daughter and my world and still is I love my grandchildren very much and they are helping me every day, but I know they will move out.
Sarah Married Harry a few months before she passed away and they have been living with us since lockdown and from when she was first diagnosed, Harry has met someone else and will move out when he can, and I feel I will be broken all over again. I am full of so many feelings ,hurt he has found someone else so soon , after 12 years of being together. My Gran also died when she was 34. My mum died when she was 40. I’ve had operations not to get breast cancer but Sarah never got round to having the operations due to travelling lockdown falling pregnant and we are just filled with ifs and buts.
If you don’t mind me asking what kind of breast cancer did your daughter have? It’s just the worst thing to happen and I’m sure her son is very lucky to have you . If you don’t mind some questions ,that age was your daughter when shepassed away? Does your grandson miss her ?does He show that he misses her? And was her cancer hereditar?
Hi I’m new to all this too. I’m absolutely useless with technology. Thankyou for your message . I’m struggling with emotions but try and keep it there myself . I feel like people don’t want to hear it and think I should just move on. There probably not really thinking that but it’s how I feel x
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