My daughter took her own life.

Losing a child
1

I have just lost my 33 years old daughter from a suspected overdose. She had suffered with mental health issues for many years. We were estranged at the time of her death but I always hoped one day to be reconciled but now that will never be. I am in turmoil , how do I go on living with this pain?

2

Hello Cathy,

I’m so sorry to hear that your daughter took her own life, that is awful. I just wanted to let you know that we have another user called Maria69 whose son also took his own life, and who just joined the site yesterday. Perhaps you might find it helpful to talk to her? You can read and reply to her post here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-child/my-heart-broken

I’m sorry also to hear that you were estranged from your daughter. It is understandable that you are grieving for the loss of the chance of reconciliation as well as for your daughter herself.

It’s important to have outlets for your emotions and not bottle things up, so I hope that it helps even a tiny bit to be able to write things down here. Some other organisations that can also help are:

3

So sorry for your loss and your circumstances. It makes your grief journey very complicated doesn’t it.
Please remember that none of us are perfect. We all have our limits and that doesn’t mean we did not care. We are also not in control even though we feel we should be where our children are involved.
It is so difficult with an adult child. We can only stand back and pick up the pieces and sometimes we cannot even do that.
I suggest you get some counselling. Also, maybe there is a Compassionate Friends group near you?
Sending you strength and hugs. Xx

4

Thank you , I do not know if there is a compassionate friends group near me as my loss is very recent.

5

Thank you ,I will certainly have a look as these support websites.

6

Dear Cathy,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this terrible pain. I too lost my darling daughter when she took her own life aged 42.
Although we weren’t estranged we had a very upsetting telephone conversation a week before which really played on my mind. I have since found out that several other people had the same experience with her.
I now believe that sadly that was part of her illness (Gemma suffered from depression and anxiety).
Please don’t be hard on yourself as your daughter would not want that.
I lost my Gemma 18 months ago. Please feel free to private message me if it helps as we have both suffered the same heartbreaking experience.
Much love to you xxx