My daughter lauren suddenly passed away on 29th November 2024
Shes 32 with 2 children 10 and 2
She rang me saying she had a pain in her chest i told her to ring an ambulance, 9 minutes later she had passed away with a heart attack,she hadnt felt ill, i was messaging her at 11.30pm the night before. I was going to see her and take the children to school,
Shes had to have an autopsy as its a sudden death,
That has showed nothing so far shes now having samples sent to london, this can take up to 12 wks
Ive now got an interim death certificate, but still no reason why, how,
Im beside myself with grief im not coping well at all.
It does not Make sense, i cant accept it i miss her terribly 
4 Likes
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter Lauren, @Denkev - it sounds like it has been such a shock to you. Not having any answers can make it all the harder.
You are not alone. Sadly, many of our members have experienced the death of their child and will understand some of what you’re going through. There’s a really supportive thread here for people whom have lost an adult child which you may find comforting to read:
You might also want to reach out to the The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to share those links with you and let you know that you are not alone.
Seaneen
Hi I am sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, Lauren.
Sadly, your experience echos mine. I lost my beautiful daughter Gemma age 34 on 21st July 2024. Gemma has two beautiful boys age 2 and 5. Gemma went to bed, she wasn’t unwell and didn’t wake up when her youngest came into the bedroom just after midnight. Her partner realised something was up. He rang an ambulance and stated CPR. The paramedics worked on Gem for 2 hours but couldn’t bring her back. When we got to the hospital they had stopped working on Gem. They said they had done all they could but couldn’t bring her back. Gemma was a healthy mother of two little boys. There were no signs that she was unwell.
Due to Gemma’s death being sudden they also had to do a post mortem and we had to wait 10-12 weeks for the full outcome. The results said Gemma died of heart failure due to a blocked artery. There were no signs that Gem had anything wrong. It was so sudden and still doesn’t make any sense. I am so sorry you are also experiencing this.
3 Likes
How awful im so sorry,
Why does this happen, its just not right 
I cant sleep at night waiting for find out the results it tears me apart 
If its congenital and ive done this to her ill never forgive myself.
Her funeral is on the 17th January,
Shes at the funeral home bow so im going to see her on 27th December ive missed her so much,
I send your family condolences
1 Like
I am so sorry you are also having to experience this pain. I hope you get the results back quickly to help explain what has happened to your daughter Lauren.
I am still trying to process what has happened. It still doesn’t make sense to me how this can happen to my daughter who was healthy. Gemma was such a beautiful young woman, an amazing mummy to her two boys. My Gem was beautiful inside and out and I miss her so much. it feels so cruel and it is so painful.
I am sending you much love and strength to you and your family.
2 Likes
Its gut wrenching the feeling isnt it, one day im so angry another day i cant get out of bed, just cry all day,
Will i feel like this forever i just want to be with her 
1 Like
I am so sorry. It is so painful and so exhausting If I’m honest I don’t know if it ever gets easier. The thought of living without my daughter feels unbearable. I have been doing a lot of reading around grief. Trying to understand how I can live with it as I can’t bear living without my daughter. I also needed to know I was not going crazy. From what I have read, we learn to try and navigate a life around it. I have read that the pain can ease over time, but we will always have times when we will feel it, some days deeper than others, but we learn to try and manage it the best we can. I have started to have some days when the pain feels more bearable, but it is still very raw for me. I love my two grandchildren and I keep telling myself if Gem was here she would be telling me that I need to live to help care for the boys, so I am trying to take one day at a time. Small steps. I try not to focus on too much and I am thankful I have the boys to give me some focus. People tell you to be kind to yourself, I know you have to try and do this but some days it can feel harder to do this. I try and do little things for myself. I am sorry, I don’t think anything I can say can ease the pain for you, it is truly the worse thing ever and is unbearable. We are having to learn to live a life without the person we love, we are living the unimaginable . I hope you have a good support network around you. I am so sorry you are experiencing this as well. Please know you are not on your own. I had a look at the link for compassionate friends this week and there are some helpful information from other’s parents who have lost their child. I know it doesn’t take away our pain, but it does help I feel to know that other parents have managed to navigate around theirs grief and find ways to carry on and to honour their beautiful child’s life. It is ok not to feel ok, and if you need to have a day in bed that is ok. I hope this does not cause you any more pain to read. I am so sorry you are experiencing this.
2 Likes
Thinking of you and hope that you are managing as well as you can. I know you wrote that you were going to see your daughter, I think you said the 27th. I hope seeing your daughter has given you some comfort and you are ok?
It has been a difficult week for me. We had Gemma’s birthday on the 29th December and although we tried to celebrate it the best we could, I have found it hard going into a new year without my daughter. I hope you are being supported and that you are taking care of yourself. I just wanted to let you know, I have been thinking about you. Take care.
2 Likes
Hi
She had srarted to deteriorate they had to cover the lower part of her face with a silk scarf 
she looked lovely though i kissed her and talked to her, took loads of pictures of her and kids put them in with her, sprayed her with her favourite perfume, i wrote a letter and put it in a bottle with a cork for her to read, saying how much o missed her and loved her,
Im so so angry atm at everyone i cant help it im so sorry to them but i still do it, i hope u are ok,? Have u any answers xx
1 Like
Did gemma have to have any other tests? We are still waiting for results
What happened to your lovely daughter Lauren, is the same as my lovely son Sam. He was 30 and fit and well, no medical problems. His wife found him early morning collapsed. It was too late. This was May. I still can’t believe it has happened. We are waiting for his inquest as we had a second opinion from CRY UK pathologist due to not being happy with the one at our local hospital. All my family are having tests as the pathologist didn’t take enough samples from my Sam to check his DNA for genes. So angry about this!! It’s unbelievable isn’t it! The shock. I’m sorry we are here. Sending love to you x
2 Likes
Thankyou for the love 
sending it to you also,
I just cant get my head round it all, to be talking to her and 9 minutes later she was gone, no illness, no nothing.
I NEED the results, we have her funeral on Friday im dreading it
How are all these young people just dying? It dosnt make sense does it? Is it covid? Is it SADS? Im at a loss.
My grief is either crying, not beliving it, anger, but the anger is awful im an awful person to everyone and i really dont mean to be, it seeps out of me constantly i hate feeling like this. Its draining,
I miss lauren so much, im so sorry for you and your family xx
2 Likes
Hi I am please you were able to see Lauren and I hope it brought you some comfort. Although, I know this will be short lived as it is really difficult to process what has happened. I am still trying to process it and it has been 5 months since we lost Gemma.
I think the feelings of anger you are experiencing is normal, I feel them frequently too. Feel angry that Gemma is not here, and angry that I can’t talk to her and that we can’t make new memories together it is also hard seeing everyone else getting on with their life when I feel mine has ended. It is so cruel what has happens to us. So unfair and devastating.
With my daughter, they did a post-mortem but said it was inconclusive. They said they had to do more tests and they took some further samples. We here told we would have to wait 10 to12 weeks for the results. I rang them a few times as the wait was unbearable. I think it took about 10weeks in the end before we got the results and we were told it was congestive cardiac failure due to a blocked artery. This didn’t make sense to me as my daughter, Gemma had been to have test on her heart in 2011 due to her father having a heart attack when he was in his mid 40’s. Her father had been told if he had any children they needed to be screened. Gemma was about 22yrs old at the time and she was screened and told she was fine. She also had a minor procedure last year following the birth of her second child and they had done 2 ECG’s before she was given general anaesthetic (due to Gemma telling them about her father, I think they did extra screening ). When we got the results from the post-mortem I went to see Gemma’s doctor to go through the report. Gemma’s doctor told me that she had gone through all Gemma’s health record and that Gemma was a healthy 34 year old woman and that there were no signs that she had anything wrong with her heart or that she was unwell. It doesn’t make sense. I know Gemma was not unwell and was healthy young vibrant beautiful woman. Gemma’s doctor said to me that in her opinion Gemma died of SAD and that Gemma wouldn’t have known as it happened whilst she was asleep.
I have started to access some counselling, to try and make sense of it all. I miss Gemma every second of every day. If I am honest, trying to live a life without her is unbearable.
I hope Lauren’s funeral goes as well as it can on Friday. Gemma’s funeral was in August and I wanted it to be a celebration of her beautiful life. We asked everyone to wear something green which most people did, it was lovely. Green was Gemma’s favourite colour. The venue was somewhere Gemma would visit with the boys, it was important for me that it was somewhere where her friends could come with their children so that my grandchildren, Gemma two beautiful boys, could play and have fun. In some ways it was a lovely day, Gemma’s friend and colleague were able to share stories of Gemma and it was lovely listening to people’s memories of my daughter and how much her friends loved her. I also bought some memory cards which I asked people to write a memory of Gemma on. I plan to have the cards scanned into a book so that the boys can read the memories when they get older. I am worried they will forget their mummy and I am trying to keep her memories alive. I remember feeling like the funeral was an out of body experience. I was there, but wasn’t there. My focus was the boys, making sure they were ok so that helped me get through the day. I hope Lauren’s funeral goes as well as it can, and that you manage to celebrate your beautiful daughter. Sending you much strength and love. I am so sorry you and your family are experiencing this.
1 Like
Sending you and your family much love and strength today for Lauren’s funeral. Take care x
Thank you, it went amazing we did her proud
not sure if you can see the pictures, she had 2 white horses that weew used in pirates of the Caribbean johnny depp film, she loved horses, i said a poem and i didnt falter
1 Like
Beautiful pictures. The hires and cart look lovely and the flowers beautiful. You did Lauren proud. I hope you are managing ok. I am sure it was an emotional day yesterday but I hope celebrating your daughter’s beautiful life also gave you and your family some comfort. Sending you much love. Take care of yourself today x
1 Like