My days now

My days were filled with love and laughter and had a purpose but now my days are filled with memories and pain .
I get up and sit or go to work I come home and go to bed to do it all again the next day and somewhere along the way I get some food and drink but nothing means anything anymore .
Why do people say how are you , is that because it’s just what we say or is it because we do actually care, I would love to say well actually I’m not doing good I’m crumbling inside just to see if they listen to the reply but I know without a doubt I would just breakdown In tears and look a fool .
I just wade through the days and deal with whatever is handed out to me on that day as best I can .

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Hi Kazzer,

Your days sound just the same as mine. It sucks doesn’t it?

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Hi Kazzar

I feel the same it doesn’t get easier and times no healer

I truly believe this is a temporary separation and we will get reunited again.

They don’t like seeing us like this it hurts their soul but it’s hard and it’s fine to crumble and cry and express how you feel they may be a memory know but they still a big part of us and we are going through a big loss.

You will get through this

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Hi Kazaa

To answer your question l think people ask how are you because they don’t know what to say.
Before I lost my daughter, both parents and in June my husband l would not know what to say.
Yes it’s bloody hard, l go to work and feel sometimes that l am on a hamster wheel. I see my autistic son twice per week . Which is hard because I am the only one now who is there for him. Me and his dad fought for him, now it’s all down to me.
So I do know how you feel xxx

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Hi @Kazzer
My days are like yours too, sometimes I just wish I could get off this merry go round, what’s the point of it all without my reason for existing.
Than I remember our children and grandchildren, losing dad and grandad was hard for them too. I have to keep going for their sake.
As you said I just have to take each day as it comes and deal with it. X

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Simple reply , just say “I’m shit”

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Glenn54 like your style “ love it “ be worth it just to see their response will let you know if and when I give it a go xx

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In the first few months I just wanted to die, looked at the dog thought no when he goes time passed thought I must stay alive for my son and daughter. The fear and loneliness is over whelming trying to find a good reason to be happy and gratitude as my husband would understand and I feel I must make him proud, I now walk in his foot steps. I was lucky 43 years with so much love. I need a good reason to realise life is precious

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I just tell people I am not good and then see what they say.

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Groundhog day , its awful xx

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I keep asking myself what is the point of filling my days with distractions. It’s been 16 months now and I still take each day as it comes, not really looking forward to anything.
Family and friends don’t seem to realise that I just miss my life with Ian, and however much I distract myself, that’s all they are, distractions rather than living.

Take care everyone,
X Julie

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